The lads come out to play when it counts...

West Mifflin Football Club 5-1 Steel City United

1-0 Volk (23)
2-0 Gasparovic (34)
3-0 Cyr (40)
3-1 Some Guy (44)
4-1 Pcholinski (50)
5-1 Cyr (pen) (74)

Gasparovic Yellow card (44)

Some Guy # 1 Yellow card (35)
Some Guy #2 Yellow card (69)
Some Other Guy Yellow card (83)
Same Some Other Guy Red card (85)

Formation: 4-2-3-1

Lineup: Vargo; Eton, Danzey, Kutscher, Sax; Hasson, Drewski; Daveon, Pcholinski, Stinner; Volk

Bench: Cyr, Gasparovic, Pete, Tyler, Stafura, etc.


For the last week the local papers have been filled with scathing account upon scathing account on how WMFC would falter yet again after two paltry, goal-starved games to start the season. However, Steel City United and the multitude of supporters that filled the Borland Park hillsides Sunday were introduced, officially, to the free-flowing and masterful finishing side constructed by the WMFC top brass the past close-season. It was a candid display that must have sent a real message to the rest of the Championship (doubtful though since the GPSL never updates the site for anyone to see the results).

In lieu of some questionable refereeing, in which three United players were booked, one United player sent off, a penalty was given then revoked and deemed an outgoing free kick - then upon inquiry as to which team was attacking which goal finally awarded, and one Blue currently on holiday in the Dominican Republic and not actually present at the game yellow carded, and a 40 minute rail delay, the Blues picked up the first set of three points available to them plus the extra one for playing the game leaving them with six points total.

Bob Stinner made his 2009 debut on the right side of midfield to strident praise from the stands. Anyway, to the action. The Volkster got the game off to a good start with a goal after 23 minutes. Some things happened (that sounds like a girl who went away to college and is finding the right words to break up with her high school sweetheart who opted to go to a different college four hours in the other direction), a pass here, a pass there and I don't remember how it got to Volk but he shot it and in it went. One nil to the Blues. Now, the order of the next two goals I do not recall entirely, however, I will start with Eggrole's Pires-esque stunner. West Mifflin was playing the ball down the right side. United were able to clear the ball out but only as far as Gasparovic, who had been subbed on moments earlier, about five or so yards outside of the box. Now, it needs to be noted that Gasparovic is known more for his power, his ability to fight blokes off of the ball, occasionally foul the shit out of someone, and leave games early for softball. So, it is understandable that what transpired next was as intriguing as it was important. He got the ball took a dribble or two, sized up what was going on, and lofted a shot with the perfect trajectory (I myself thought it was over the net) over the goalie (who was no fat slob, but fit and active) and into the net. 2-0 Blues on what is an early candidate for goal of the season. At this point, Volk had come off in exchange for Cyr but there have been no two strikers more consistent than these two and losing one for the other is not a loss but an even swap. Cyr latched onto a through ball (I guess) and dribbled across the box, around two defenders and curled in the third of the game (or maybe the second). The Blues would have liked to have kept United off the score sheet, especially before the half, but Some Guy scored. How? I don't remember or care. At some point in the first half, Stinner was sprinting at an injury-reduced rate down the right side of the pitch. He put the ball out in front of him a little ways and the little defender with shaved head and full beard took him out. According to Stinner:

He caught the ankle slightly. I fell to ground on my shoulder and I expected
that to hurt worse than it did. I am huge though so it didn't hurt. He apologized and I empathized with him because the field was wet. I kept losing my footing and when you slide tackle on this pitch when it is wet you go for miles.

The left back was shown yellow for the infraction. Just after the halftime whistle had gone lightning struck close by and the teams were informed that there would be a delay of 30 minutes and that the count would restart after every subsequent strike. There was a second strike after about ten minutes. And then another a few minutes later, and another, and another. About six lightning strikes flashed about but the ref didn't see any of it and the delay was just 40 minutes.

The second half started with United pressing WMFC. For about 10 minutes or so the home side could not gain possession and the ball rarely made it past midfield. It's a good thing that United did not have their shooting boots on because they had a few chances. Keeper Rob Vargo did well. As did newcomer, Pete, a friend of Vargo's. Pete is from Germany and is absolutely masterful on the ball. Although he is most comfortable as a central midfielder, he was happy to fill in at left back and played very well there, settling the ball well and playing it to feet with ease. He also has flowing, Fabio-like hair which pretty much guarantees a quality footballer. He has been added to the roster and everyone here at WMFC Online welcome him.

Having started off in the traditional 4-4-2, West Mifflin eventually broke out of the pressure and started up field. A ball was played to the strikers Volk and Nick. A pass was sent across and Stinner, finally able to test out his battered left foot, shot the ball off of the pass and it ricocheted off a defender and rolled to Pcholinski (the opportunistic snake) who was waiting just outside the top of the box. Just as he snakes everyone's kills in COD, he ripped his boot through the ball. It bounced almost on the goal line and into the net, past the goalie who was screened by three of his own defenders.

The game was becoming chippy at this point and the ref being clueless caused the situation to fester. Cyr controlled the ball just outside the top of the box and dribbled past the defender. In order to stop Cyr, the defender grabbed the strikers torso and hauled him down inside the box. The ref blew the whistle and pointed to the spot. Then, after the typical, whah-whah inquiry by the offending team as to why the call was made, appeared to reverse the decision appointing the free kick to United. Then after being told that white was the team that was fouled and was inside the box, he finally awarded the penalty. The sideline refs, one looking like a high school sophomore who had just gotten back from hotboxing a Hummer and the other who very well could have been Father Time he was so old, were of no help. Anyway, Cyr placed the ball into the barren hole that Mother Nature has kept grassless to indicate the penalty spot, awaited the refs whistle and upon hearing it, rifled the ball high and into the right side of the net. 5-1 and that's how it would end despite Stinner being played a perfect pass from a corner by Drewski. He lined up perfectly to strike it home but the ball hit a crater and he ended up whiffing. Also, Jared Pcholinski, who's decision making skills in the final third are worse than that of O.J. Simpson, was played clear and was leading a three-on-none up the field. Instead of centering the ball for an easy tap in, he decided to go for it...and the ball was blocked for a corner leading to Stinner's corner whiff.

The game did not finish without some dramatics. After a ball had been played down Vargo's left side something was called that did not appeal to one of the United players. He turned and calmly said 'you suck.' The ref promptly showed him the yellow. Now, after the offense, which I feel was warranted, the ref kept yammering on at the player (and the player back to him) which caused the rest of the United squad to start yammering until 9 of 11 United players were yammering something to the ref while the other two were yammering at the other 11 to shut the fuck up. Eventually, a very, VERY poor call was made as a cross was sent in and very clearly hit off Eton's shoulder and went out of bounds. The ref called a goal kick which was clearly not the correct call and one can be almost assured that he made the wrong call on purpose. Minutes later, Eggrole was fouled in the back and the United player was booked. Just a few moments after that he was sent off for calling the ref a 'fucking idiot' which is not entirely inaccurate in this case but still inappropriate and worthy of the straight red. Then we all had to sit around while the guy left the premises and of course he took his grand old time and blah, blah, blah, full time, we won.

Man of the Match: Nick Cyr

So, the victory puts WMFC at 6 points. I would be able to tell you what place that would put the squad in if I had been sent a coherent email from the GPSL. On the contrary, I was sent a completely incoherent email from the league and so have no idea what the hell it said and we are still in the dark as to where the club stands in the league table. Rest assured, however, your resilient Blues Reporting staff here at WMFC Online will let you know any info as we receive it.
The next game will most likely be AT HOME this weekend against Sporting Club of Pittsburgh due to them not being able to schedule their field. The game will most likely be at 1:00p. Stop being cunts and come to a game!

Finally, if you remember the scenario that led up to the goal please leave a comment detailing the play and I will try to update the match report.