None of the original members of the Wildcats will ever forget the first day that Tom and Steve Klein were dropped off to practice at Borland field in one of those white minivans that every family with more than one child had in the nineties. We stood there in awe, actively passing the ball hither and thither, as the brethren made their way down the steps and onto the pitch. We had all heard of his speed but were in absolute shock to see him bare-chested and sporting...JNCO jean shorts. "How can he play in those?" was the question tossed around. "Is this dude even any good?" was also exchanged on several occasions during that first warm up. However, as practice began the obvious skill crystallized, even to the point of one Wildcat to exclaim "He's our secret weapon!!" in an awfully gay voice.
As the years went on Klein blended into the team and became an integral part of its on field success. He also became a close friend to many of the players including, Bob Stinner.
I remember before we went to Edinboro in 01' we had practice here the Wednesday or Thursday before and the old cunt was telling me how he was going to buy a Pastor Troy CD for the tournament. I laughed my ass off when he told me that. Pastor Troy? Pure garbage. But whatever he listened to thank God he did. He did quite a job in defense in that championship game. As a goalie I was and still am grateful.blockquote>
Stinner and Klein also shared the bond of their father's sitting apart from the rest of the WMFC fans behind Stinner's goal. Many thought the two old men sat there to be closer to their sons but in reality, it was because they were shunned by the rest of the fans because they smoked twelve packs of Marlboro reds each per game. The two are most remembered for standing behind the goal during the 2001 PA West Tournament Championship game against Bethel Park - a game in which Klein starred as a defensive juggernaut. "I remember him playing in front of me in defense and how hard he worked. He made some saves that day as well" Stinner said. Klein also put one of the team's penalties in the shootout. Stinner recalls:
I remember that funnily-shaped head darting toward me ahead of everyone else right after I made that last save. He was a fast bloke. Jumped into my arms and the next thing I remember we were on the bottom of the pile.
Stinner and Klein were almost picked up on vandalism charges for scratching their girlfriend's names into the booths of a restaurant the two were dining at. As I recall from spending the day with the two, Stinner had already finished his work but when the waiter came around the corner Klein was still grinding hard into the wall with his car keys. His reaction when he noticed the waiter standing there was priceless.
The following year at Edinboro was not as kind to Klein as he was shown red against Twin Boro for tackling some cunt for being a cunt. Klein was deserving of a red but then again so was the cunt for being such a...well, cunt.
Outside of his on-pitch performances, Klein will most likely be remembered for his spontaneous face-making and the manner in which he would very easily make it known that someone had said or done something immensely gay and/or stupid. Unfortunately, there are no documented photos that I have come across of said faces but anyone reading this knows of what I write. As far as belligerently putting someone down for making even the slightest error, we can look back upon the "kill yourself" era, to the use of the term "Oh God" which still remains. But we can also reflect on newer nuances such as what I like to describe as the "frozen-look-off-into-the-distance-then-turn-the-cellphone-upside-down-and-pretend-to-answer-it-by-saying "Hello, I'm Brian Fellows" thing, or what I am assuming is his new favorite, pointing at the offender and saying "FAIL."
On a more personal note, Klein introduced me to Fox Soccer Channel and my most beloved team, The Arsenal. He introduced me to my favorite player, Thierry Henry (not actually) and since 12th grade I have been the most die-hard of all Arsenal supporters. I don't think even he understands what that study hall period in the library of West Mifflin Area High School meant to me. It reignited my love for the sport I had played since I was three, (by far the longest I have played any sport) but it also solidified him as one of my best friends. A best friend that would tell me that I should gel my hair not so I would look good, but because if I needed to I could just take some out of my hair and use it to masturbate (he said this while making the best of his faces I had ever seen). A best friend that made me change my career path. One day he asked me what I wanted to do with my life and I told him I wanted to be a journalist. He did the "frozen stare" thing and showed me average yearly salaries for journalists and laughed at me hysterically. I am now a miserable auditor. A best friend that would go on to try and fight me in a bar because he had one-too-many dry-wall brownies. Despite that though to this day when I daydream of scoring the winning goal against Mt. Lebanon I always say to myself that if I had scored it I would have run into the locker room and hugged him first because of his busted up nose.
Anyway, the cunt was good and he scored a lot of goals for West Mifflin over the years. I don't remember a lot of them because I was either in goal picking up the rocks that were ingrained into the Borland Park pitch and trying to hit the cross bar from the top of the 18 and not really paying attention or because I didn't play in high school like a proper cunt. But I know some were important and some were just icing goals but either way: Cheers to you Tom Klein. Thank you for all of the years of service. It was a pleasure to play alongside you. Good luck hanging drywall, smoking drywall, fishing, eating drywall, watching YouTube videos and then sending them to me/putting them in your away message, texting me to tell me you sent me a YouTube video, kayaking, gaming, snorting drywall, having your tools fall out of your truck, and watching Pens games.
