West Mifflin Football Club 5-4 Dynamo 412
1-0 Daveon (4')
1-1 Some Guy (16')
2-1 Drewski? (25')
3-1 Jordan (40')
4-1 Cyr (55')
4-2 Some Guy (60')
5-2 Drewski (64')
5-3 Some Other Guy (70')
5-4 Some Other (Other?) Guy (75')
Man of the Match: SAX
For the second season in a row, West Mifflin Football Club traveled to Schenley Oval and stole three points from a much more skilled and much more organized opponent. With the identical score line as last season's 5-4 victory over Sporting Club of Pittsburgh, West Mifflin defeated Dynamo 412 and leapfrogged them in the standings and into second place in the East section of the Championship division of the GPSL. Inconceivable at the start of the season, the Blues are now almost a lock for a GPSL playoff berth for the first time in their history.
West Mifflin Football Club welcomed back Matthew Alan for a cameo game. He was in town for the Fourth of July weekend and was able to throw some boots on, scream expletives at some people in the caravan to the game, and mouth off to the ref; ALL while putting in strong work in midfield and the back. At one point after the game, Pcholinski turned to me and said: "Having Baguet helps...a lot." And I'd have to agree. It's a shame the cunt works in Washington D.C. Doesn't do us much good down there.
However, from the first four minutes or so, one never would have guessed the end result. Dynamo possessed the ball extremely well and worked it around silkily whilst eyeing up how to tear through the WMFC defense. The Blues defense, anchored this week by Tony Kutscher at sweeper and Jordan Gasparovic at left back, was a brick wall. With probably some of the best offensive players WMFC had seen all season in the midfield as well as up front pushing forward, Dynamo left their less than impressive defense absolutely Buck Naked at the back. This allowed a ball to be played to Daveon who streaked through the middle and into the left side of the box. He pulled the ball back as the defender went scuuurrrrrting past him, turned and fired the ball into the top corner of the net. The makeshift keeper really had no chance as the ball was placed perfectly. Or more likely, Daveon didn't get enough on it to put it over the bar and it happened into the net. Either way, the Blues were 1-0 up and the crowd, the Dynamo players, and I wouldn't doubt that even a majority of the WMFC players were stunned.
The lead lasted about twelve minutes. With Vargo still away on holiday in Sin City and Stinner still not cleared for goalkeeping duty, Matt Sax made his second start in net and for the third time this season he was beaten on a header from a corner. The defense was poor again, allowing some tall bloke to stand in the middle of the box and guide, with force, the ball into the side panel. Cool. The next goal I have no recollection of. I think it was Drew that scored it but I don't know for sure. But, regardless, 2-1 WMFC were up. With about five minutes from halftime, Jordan Gasparovic who has been an excellent sport this season about playing defense when needed, scored a candidate for goal of the season. WMFC were attacking and had been unleashing an onslaught of shots on the Dynamo net for a few minutes (to no avail) when the ball dropped to Gasparovic some distance out. Whether or not it was intended to be a shot we may never know for sure because if asked, the Eggrollian one will certainly maintain that it was, in fact, a shot. But, Gasparovic let fly with his new, lime green boots. The ball soared at the goal having been lofted at the perfect degree so that it was just difficult enough to judge that the keeper tried to catch it but had it slip through his hands and into the net. A great goal indeed but one has to feel sorry for the burly keeper who probably has only played goalie one other time in his life. That made it 3-1 and try as they might, Dynamo could not get any closer before the whistle. Some more anti-climatic events took place in the first half such as Stinner, having been pushed up to forward being sprung on the break wide open. He had this to say: I knew they were going to catch me.
And they did. Fail.
In addition, Daveon got in a good cross at one point and Lacock slid through the middle of the box to get a touch to it and somehow, reminiscent of Baguet's header against Moon at Edinboro in 2002, put it over the bar from essentially the goal line. Again, Fail.
From the middle of the park, Stinner played a magnificent ball to Cyr who started from behind the defender and beat him to the pass. The side ref who was one of the worst of all time flagged him for offsides. Dumbass. The descent towards that side ref was a taste of things to come in the second half.
After all of the fellows got rehydrated they took the pitch and the second half began. Again with most of their midfield pushed forward, Dynamo were left lacking in the back and Cyr took a beautiful pass from someone down the left side. Stinner went streaking to the middle of the box. Cyr turned in towards the net and tucked the ball into the nearside netting. Later, Cyr revealed that he had been tyring to put it in on the other side of the net. Oh, well. No harm, no foul and it was 4-1.
Now, for whatever reason, the center ref, that looked like a guy straight out of a 1982 Science Education VHS Video that we used to have to watch in elementary school; with his huge glasses frames and his big, bushy beard, decided to start gifting Dynamo goal opportunities. One of the dinkiest fouls ever was called on Matthew Alan (I think) about two yards outside the box. The bloke stepped right up and fired the ball into the net. Poor Sax had no chance. That made it 4-2 and there was a little descent towards the ref from the WMFC players. And rightfully so. He was bad in the second half. All of this tension was put to bed, though, when Drewski scored his second (first if I'm remembering incorrectly and he didn't score in the first half). Stinner, Cyr, and Drew linked up for what was one of the prettiest plays in recent memory. Stinner got the ball from a deflected shot. He turned and dazzled two defenders only to look up and see Nick open. He sent the ball off to Cyr who quickly redistributed the ball to Drew who had been making a run down the center of the pitch. Drew took the ball in and slid the ball past the goalie for a 5-2 WMFC lead. It really was a beauty.
However, the tension that was put to bed from that goal wasn't fully tucked in as Dynamo pressed and scored on a deflected shot. The striker was allowed more time than China has been in existence and he fired it home. 5-3, and as much as the fans at Schenley Park got excited, so did the Blues get anxious. Then with about five minutes remaining in the game - Mr. Wizard gifted Dynamo another free kick. This one a little further out but still enough to have a go. And a go they had. This bloke struck a bullet into the opposite corner of the net. Sax dove, and God bless him for it, but I don't even think Buffon in his prime could have stopped this rocket. It was another beauty but it really shouldn't have been taken because the foul called was absolutely speculative.
Despite the scare, however, that would be it for the scoring. West Mifflin would hold on for the 5-4 win and leapfrog Dynamo in the standings on 22 points. Matt Sax had an outstanding game despite giving up four goals (none of which he can really be blamed for). I can hardly remember how the goals were scored so there is a snowballs chance in hell I remember the saves he made. There were many in a Marc-Andre Fleury-like performance. I don't know what the fuck happened but all of a sudden we can score goals. The team needs to keep that up as we head into the final game of the season; a make up against Indiana FC at Borland this Friday at 6:00p. As of right now, WMFC are in second in the East section of the Championship Division (see updated standings). With a win this Friday I think a playoff berth is solidified. See you then.
07 July 2009
Updated Standings
Here are the updated standings following the weekend of July 5th:
Championship East Division Standings
Championship North Division Standings
Championship South Division Standings
Championship East Division Standings
Championship North Division Standings
Championship South Division Standings
06 July 2009
Injury Update
Jared Pcholinski's vagina has torn. She had been suffering from vaginal cramps and is now listed as day to day.
03 July 2009
SURPRISE: WMFC in Playoff Hunt
According to the standings at the PA West Official Website, West Mifflin Football Club is tied for the second Wildcard spot. Standings below:
Championship East Division:
Championship North Division:
Championship South Division:
Championship East Division:
Championship North Division:
Championship South Division:
West Mifflin win second game in a week versus EF
West Mifflin Football Club 5-4 Elizabeth Forward
1-0 Pcholinski (5')
2-0 Pcholinski (19')
3-0 Volk (30') 4
-0 Pcholinski (46')
5-0 Stinner (55')
5-1 Some Guy (68')
5-2 Some Other Guy (75')
5-3 Some Guy (77')
5-4 Some Other, Other Guy (pen,85')
Man of the Match: Jared Pcholinski
This wasn't much of a game as EF had only seven players (six outfield plus the keeper) to start the game. The end was a different story. The scoring started after only about five minutes. Stinner received the ball on the wing and sent it into the box. It was a lovely ball that landed perfectly on the head (how could you miss such a grotesquely large thing) of Jared Pcholinski who headed home with aplomb. There was some laughter among both teams as the ridiculousness of the affair was noticed. However, just after the kick to restart the game, EF countered with an odd man rush that seemed inconceivable at the start. Three white shirts rushed on two but nothing came of it. It was a warning to WMFC of things to come. It was Pcholinski about fifteen minutes later who put the Blues up two and it was Stinner again with the assist, this time on a shot. Stinner did some ridiculous move that can never be duplicated in its grace and prowess and let fly a shot that was so Herculeanly powerful that the keeper could not catch it but laid it into the path of Pcholinski who unlike a few weeks ago against Wolfpack put the ball into the Sasha Grey-anus-like-wide open net. Two-nil. Only eleven minutes later the Volkster got his. I don't remember what happened but Volk ended up with the ball in the box on a rebound and absolutely wrong footed the keeper with his eyes. He looked him off to the right and as he leaned sent it into the left side of the net. So, WMFC took a three-nil lead into the locker-bench at halftime.
Elizabeth Forward looked to start the second half strong with the addition of three fresh players - topping their on field number to ten. However, within sixty seconds, WMFC took a resounding four-nil lead. It was Pcholinski with a dinky tap in for his hat trick. Then about ten minutes later, injury-plagued Bob Stinner put home what eventually became the game winner. Daveon took the ball down the side on a pass from Hasson. Everyone on the pitch was waiting for a pike but instead, Stinner made a cut to the six yard box and Daveon lashed in a perfectly placed cross. Stinner swung his ailing left foot at the ball and side footed it into the corner of the net. It was, without doubt, the greatest piece of finishing by any footballer in the history of the world.
After that, however, EF took over. Their first goal was very non-descript. A pass into the net really. Their second was disgraceful. A cross that never should have made it's way into the box slipped past Vargo and the striker merely had to touch it into the net. That made it 5-2. Then, Some Guy was left unmarked at the top of the box and curled a beautiful shot over the outstretched arms of keeper Robbie Wargo (what my dad has called Rob Vargo ever since we first met him...approximately ten years or so ago. He is also still convinced my old girlfriend from 9th grade's name is 'Misty'). It was a good shot that dipped down under the bar. This gave EF a great deal of confidence and dealt a blow to that of WMFC's. Then on 85 minutes, a penalty was called in the box and Some Other-Other Guy stepped up to the spot and send Vargo the wrong way to make it 5-4. The nerves were achy after that one.
That was to be it though and West Mifflin held on to win. That makes them 2-0 all time in Route 51 Derby’s. I am really rushing this ending paragraph because it is almost time for me to go home and I don't want to miss my bus. So, West Mifflin's next game is Sunday, July 5th at Schenley Oval. They will take on Dynamo 412 - the team that held the Blues to a 1-1 draw and was actually leading them even though they only had seven people and not a real goalie. WMFC is also expecting exactly 13 players. This should be grand. See you then.
1-0 Pcholinski (5')
2-0 Pcholinski (19')
3-0 Volk (30') 4
-0 Pcholinski (46')
5-0 Stinner (55')
5-1 Some Guy (68')
5-2 Some Other Guy (75')
5-3 Some Guy (77')
5-4 Some Other, Other Guy (pen,85')
Man of the Match: Jared Pcholinski
This wasn't much of a game as EF had only seven players (six outfield plus the keeper) to start the game. The end was a different story. The scoring started after only about five minutes. Stinner received the ball on the wing and sent it into the box. It was a lovely ball that landed perfectly on the head (how could you miss such a grotesquely large thing) of Jared Pcholinski who headed home with aplomb. There was some laughter among both teams as the ridiculousness of the affair was noticed. However, just after the kick to restart the game, EF countered with an odd man rush that seemed inconceivable at the start. Three white shirts rushed on two but nothing came of it. It was a warning to WMFC of things to come. It was Pcholinski about fifteen minutes later who put the Blues up two and it was Stinner again with the assist, this time on a shot. Stinner did some ridiculous move that can never be duplicated in its grace and prowess and let fly a shot that was so Herculeanly powerful that the keeper could not catch it but laid it into the path of Pcholinski who unlike a few weeks ago against Wolfpack put the ball into the Sasha Grey-anus-like-wide open net. Two-nil. Only eleven minutes later the Volkster got his. I don't remember what happened but Volk ended up with the ball in the box on a rebound and absolutely wrong footed the keeper with his eyes. He looked him off to the right and as he leaned sent it into the left side of the net. So, WMFC took a three-nil lead into the locker-bench at halftime.
Elizabeth Forward looked to start the second half strong with the addition of three fresh players - topping their on field number to ten. However, within sixty seconds, WMFC took a resounding four-nil lead. It was Pcholinski with a dinky tap in for his hat trick. Then about ten minutes later, injury-plagued Bob Stinner put home what eventually became the game winner. Daveon took the ball down the side on a pass from Hasson. Everyone on the pitch was waiting for a pike but instead, Stinner made a cut to the six yard box and Daveon lashed in a perfectly placed cross. Stinner swung his ailing left foot at the ball and side footed it into the corner of the net. It was, without doubt, the greatest piece of finishing by any footballer in the history of the world.
After that, however, EF took over. Their first goal was very non-descript. A pass into the net really. Their second was disgraceful. A cross that never should have made it's way into the box slipped past Vargo and the striker merely had to touch it into the net. That made it 5-2. Then, Some Guy was left unmarked at the top of the box and curled a beautiful shot over the outstretched arms of keeper Robbie Wargo (what my dad has called Rob Vargo ever since we first met him...approximately ten years or so ago. He is also still convinced my old girlfriend from 9th grade's name is 'Misty'). It was a good shot that dipped down under the bar. This gave EF a great deal of confidence and dealt a blow to that of WMFC's. Then on 85 minutes, a penalty was called in the box and Some Other-Other Guy stepped up to the spot and send Vargo the wrong way to make it 5-4. The nerves were achy after that one.
That was to be it though and West Mifflin held on to win. That makes them 2-0 all time in Route 51 Derby’s. I am really rushing this ending paragraph because it is almost time for me to go home and I don't want to miss my bus. So, West Mifflin's next game is Sunday, July 5th at Schenley Oval. They will take on Dynamo 412 - the team that held the Blues to a 1-1 draw and was actually leading them even though they only had seven people and not a real goalie. WMFC is also expecting exactly 13 players. This should be grand. See you then.
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