West Mifflin fall in first ever playoff game, 3-1

West Mifflin 1-3 Indiana County FC

Vargo; Kutscher, Kufen, Pasternak, Bradaric; Baguet, Gauss, Hasson, Reed; Volk, Stinner

Subs: Hruska, Lee, Cyr, Nickel

0-1 Some Guy (27)
2-0 Some Guy That Looked to be Offsides
3-0 Some Guy That was Clearly Offsides
1-3 Matthew Alan

And just like *that* it was all over. Another hard fought season, one filled with unprecedented success came to an end Saturday seemingly as quickly as it started. Ironically, WMFC's 2010 season was ended by the same team that ended their 2009 season. In what was the only other time these two teams have crossed paths, Indiana County blanked the Blues 3-0 on the last day of the season at Borland Park. A year on, West Mifflin improved considerably, finishing with its highest points total in its history and earning its first ever GPSL playoff berth. Unfortunately, the Blues were unable to ride that improvement past the first playoff round.

I don't even feel like recapping this game. It was a miserably hot and humid day in Cranberry and the heat did nothing but compound the disappointment of defeat. It didn't stop some of the Indiana FC players from whining about every minor infraction, however. It makes one wonder what it would have taken to stop that. All of the universes suns converging on Graham Park simultaneously possibly? Probably not. Regardless, Indiana scored its first and only non-controversial goal after some really shoddy defending by West Mifflin. It was a shame because despite not being able to deliver passes properly for most of the game, the Blues had several chances to plod one home. Some Guy gathered the ball just outside the area and slalomed through the WMFC defense. Kutscher challenged but lost the 50/50, allowing said Guy to charge towards Vargo. I'm not sure if it was this goal or the second one but Some Guy curled one of the two nicely into the back corner of the net. West Mifflin regrouped before the restart and was able to hold that scoreline for about 10 minutes when the controversy began. After WMFC was completely unable to clear the ball from their own zone, a through ball was played to Some Other Guy who appeared to me to be at least a step offside. But, of course, the flag remained down and he was through on goal and slid it past Vargo comfortably to make it 2-0. A few minutes later it was halftime.

At halftime, some wise words from an Obi Wan Kenobi-like figure prompted the Blues to change their formation from a traditional 4-4-2 to a 3-5-3, in order to clog up the midfield and allow another striker to roam forward. Had this formation been employed throughout the season, it would have worked miracles. However, since this was the first time it was used, the effect was dampened. The Blues played better because of it but weren't accustomed to the adjustments that came with the new formation. Indiana's third goal had much less to do with WMFC's new formation than it did with the craptastic refereeing. As WMFC pushed to cut the lead in half, most of its players were close to midfield. Some Guy That Was Certainly Offsides stood on WMFC's side of the pitch as a long ball was played to him. Obviously unaware of the rule at that very second, both the side ref and the center ref allowed play to continue even though Some Guy That Was Clearly Offsides was two steps over midfield into WMFC's half. He got the ball, dribbled in, and blasted home to make it 3-0. That ruined any of the momentum and enthusiasm the Blues may have had after the rousing start to the second half they had.

After that, tempers flared, whining ensued and Baguet dropped several comedic nuggets as he is apt to do in times of ineptitude. He was eventually warned for saying 'mine' when pursuing a 50/50 ball. This behavior apparently pissed off the Indiana captain sooo much that he found it necessary to whine mercilessly about it until the ref, who clearly understood that no one else gave two queefs, eventually told Baguet not to do it again. Baguet's response?

I'm just gonna keep doing it anyway.

Very sportsmanlike, indeed.

The other resident hothead, Etan, managed to get kicked out of the playing area for employing the argument tactics of a small child. After another very questionable offside call against the Blues, Etan yelled something at the ref. The ref responded in a stutter: I AM IN LINE WITH THE PLAY. YOUR VIEW IS SKEWED!

Etan's rebuttal: YOU'RE VIEW IS SKEWED!

Then the ref kicked him out. When Etan started to pack up his stuff, the ref nervously laughed and said, 'Dude, you don't have to leave. Just be quiet." Yikes.

Eventually, Matthew Alan pulled one back for the Blues. Nick got in the area and drove towards the end line and sent the ball across the face of goal, right in line to Baguet's foot. He tapped it in and that was that.

Once again, congratulations to West Mifflin Football Club on making the playoffs for the first time. See you all at the alumni game on August 8th and for the Neville Island Indoor Season in October.

West Mifflin clinches first ever playoff berth with Sweep the Leg draw

Sweep the Leg 3-3 West Mifflin 

Vargo; Kufen, Nickel, Gasparovic, Etan; Baguet, Gauss, Pcholinski, Hruska; Volk, Stinner

Substitutions: Lee, Cyr, Lacock

0-1 Some guy (12)
0-2 Some other guy (18)
0-3 Lacock (OG) (31)
1-3 Volk (47)
2-3 Baguet (57)
3-3 Cyr (71)

Pcholinski Yellow Card (75)

After a long, boring, red-light riddled trip up Route 8, an overly barren West Mifflin Football Club kicked off against Championship West leaders Sweep the Leg. With its first choice sweeper, two first choice wingers, and two solid strikers missing and the team only needing to play the game to win enough points for a playoff berth, WMFC weren't expecting an easy go of it. The pitch was tucked away in the middle of Bumfuck, Pennsylvania and had more craters than Stinner's driveway. From the center circle, one could look to the right and see farmland, then look to the left and see, well, more farmland..oh, and a green John Deere tractor holding up traffic. However, the Sweep the Leg pitch did feature one other attribute the Blues are altogether not familiar with...actual, real, living and breathing fans. Scores of them lining the sidelines to cheer on their team. It was a strange sight to say the least and one of the only memorable items from a game that winger Tyler Lacock rightly described as 'nondescript.'

I digress. This was a game of two halves, literally and figuratively. After ten minutes of solid back and forth play, the Blues just switched off entirely. Sweep the Leg dominated thereafter but were very lucky to go up by the margin they did. The first goal came from a botched clearance that careened off of Etan's head as a shot on Vargo's net. Vargo did well to get a hand to it but it bounced right into the path of an ongoing attacker who popped it up into the net. A shitty way to go 1-nil down. Moments later Volk had a shot at equalizing. A long ball found him with his back to the net and a defender on him. He spun and looped a good shot just wide of the post.

A few minutes later, poor defending on a corner allowed Sweep the Leg to double their lead. The towering sweeper with his surfer-dude locks leaped through the air and powered a header over Vargo and into the net. The goal scorers wide-openness was a microcosm of the Blues play in that first half: shoddy, unorganized and just downright poor. They looked like total twats, to be sure and just 13 minutes after the second, the third went in rather unluckily for West Mifflin. A ball was played down the right side, bing-bang-boom, something happened and the ball was crossed in. It ricocheted off of two white jerseys, deflected off of Lacock - sending his head back and to the left. That's right, back and to the left...as the ball skipped passed Vargo and into the net. And so went the first half without as much as a whimper from the Blues the rest of the way.

Little was said in West Mifflin's section of cornfield. Most of the players just leaned on their designated bale of hay and shucked corn. However, just before the second half began, as if to inspire the rest of the squad, Matt Baguet, seemingly out of nowhere, looked at the Sweep the Leg center striker and said:

I'm trying to figure out what I had for lunch...

As the opposition looked at the little bastard, befuddled, he turned around, bent over and farted at them. No one really knew what to do because the act was so completely and utterly retarded. It did seem to spark the Blues, however. There was a very good spell of possession that led to a wonderful cross from someone. Volk found himself wide open in the box and headed home the Blues first with real authority...so much authority that it tore a hole in the net. As the teams lined up for the ensuing kickoff, Baguet was asked to repeat his one man spectacle. He could not from fear of shitting his pants.

It didn't matter though as three minutes before the hour mark, Baguet put in his first of the season. I was grabbing a drink of Apple Cider from Ma and Pa's cider cellar when the play started but when I looked up, Baguet was on the six inch line tapping the ball in. That made it 3-2 and the Blues bench was humming. After a botched substitution, Nickel found himself out on the left for a good 10 minutes. The defender, well-known to fancy a pint or a dozen, held his own for the short stretch.

With about 25 minutes to go, West Mifflin had a good opportunity to finish off an emphatic comeback. Someone was fouled on the edge of the box and, finally, after nearly 70 minutes of indecision and overall cluelessness, the center ref blew his whistle and gave West Mifflin a free kick. Volk and Baguet stood over the ball and discussed what they would do with it. Volk ended up taking the kick and sending a bullet towards goal. The keeper got his hands on it, however, and the chance passed. Volk, despite only having one goal, played very well - striking the post on two occasions. At one point, he found himself in acres of space after a beautifully placed ball from Daveon. He was one on one with the keeper and just couldn't find the proper placement on the ball and sent a SKYBOMB over the net.

Finally, the Blues got their equalizer. Nick took the ball on the left side and glided into the area. He went to shoot and whiffed horrendously. Someone, many believe it to be Gasparovic, yelped 'THAT"S A PENALTY!', but it clearly was not. Seconds after the whiff, Cyr regained possession with his back to the goal. The keeper slid in and took out his legs like a police baton. The ref, probably exhaling in relief because an opportunity to atone for his terrible no-calls for most of the game had presented itself,  flew in and pointed to the spot. Cyr stepped up and plastered the ball into the net to complete the comeback. Overall, a very good job at kicking on and not giving up, especially considering the quality and quantity of players WMFC was missing.

With the result, West Mifflin clinched its first ever GPSL playoff berth. They will play Saturday, July 24th at 12:00p at Graham Park in Cranberry. If they win that game they will play at 6:00p. Should they win that game they will play in the Championship game on Sunday, July 25th at 12:00p.

Congratulations to all members of the 2010 West Mifflin Football Club.

West Mifflin Football Club Seal Playoff Berth

and

West Mifflin Draws with Wheeling

West Mifflin 0-0 Wheeling

Vargo; Kutscher, Gasparovic, Kufen, Dalibor; Baguet, Hasson, Gauss, Reed; Volk, Cyr...I guess

Substitutions: Kidd, Hruska, lolllllol...I guess

Nothing happened (13)

Nothing happened again (25)

Fans fell asleep (44)

Referees fell asleep (67)

Full time (90)

Someone took a shot at the Wheeling keeper...but he stopped it!

Someone shot at Vargo...but he stopped it!

And then the final whistle blew and West Mifflin boarded the team bus with two points in the bag. 

The Blues play their final game of the regular season next week when they travel to...hmm, well...wherever Sweep the Leg is based. Until next week...