West Mifflin 4-3 Elizabeth Forward
0-1 Some Guy (12')
1-1 Volk (20')
2-1 Cyr (55')
3-1 Cyr (59')
3-2 Some Other Guy (70')
4-2 Cyr (pen, 75')
4-3 Some Guy (85')
Lineup: I forget.
What a game. Finally, after almost two years of anticipation, the first ever Route 51Derby was played at Borland Park in front of a close-to-capacity twelve fans (a majority of which were EF supporters). Included on the sidelines was none other than Ryan Abels who had sustained a broken foot the week before. A shame, Stinner would have enjoyed skuuurrrtiinng him had he been on the pitch. Here's to him getting better.
It didn't take long for the Warriors to grab the lead despite starting down a man or two. After about ten minutes of back and forth ball, the taller bloke with blonde hair took the ball on what was described by the sliced-and-diced WMFC defense as a'bang-bang' play, sped through the middle into the box and slid the ball past Vargo for the opening goal and just like that the boys were down 0-1. The WMFC players were stunned. Actually, I don't think anyone really cared. Eight minutes later, Volk equalized on a header. I have no idea how the ball got there but it got and Volk sent it into the twine to knot the game at one. The first half is a blur to me now as I sit here in my cube. All I can remember is playing Max Payne last night and watcihng The Matrix. What a flick. I had forgotten how overly-dramatic everything Laurence Fishburne says is in that movie. He, as well as all of those in their hipster-dufus attire, also has/have a knack for procaliming at every sudden instance of trouble that they are 'running out of time.' Oh, well. Great movie though.
Anyway, whatever happened at halftime (it could have been a rousing speech by manager Bob Stinner about how Sax had to leave to be with his sister who had gone into emergency surgery) that rallied the team. Nick Cyr in particular who had himself an absolute peach of a half. He finished with a hat trick and since it was so long ago I don't remember which was which because his first two goals were very similar. However, one included a majestic run from Hasson (who has really established himself - my signing, suck it Matt Baguet)who beat three (I think)defenders enroute to a cross that he (Cyr) eventually knocked home. It really was a thing of beauty. The other goal was similar but I don't remember what the hell happened because I was picking my nose and picking rocks from off of the pitch and throwing them into the woods.
If my memory of our goals can be described as a semi-attractive woman, Okay but not quite there yet, then my memory of the opposing team's goals would be Anna Paquin, bad and absolutely not attractive. I have no idea what happened when they scored nor do I care. After they scored some goals to make it 3-2, Cyr was felled in the box on what I would have to say was an iffy penalty. The defender clearly got the ball, but definitely took out Cyr's ankles on the follow-through. Good thing it's not up to me though because the official pointed to the spot. Cyr stepped up fired a shot to the left side of the net. The keeper dove and got a hand to it but the shot was too much and it ricocheted into the net - giving Nick his hat trick.
Elizabeth Forward pushed hard and somehow came away with another goal to make it 4-3. They pushed even harder for the equalizer and came very close on several occasions. Vargo, however, maybe knowing that he was going to be abandoning the team in another week for a wild week in Vegas with his party animal mother, father, and brother, came up huge, making some huge saves.
Man of the Match: Nick Cyr
A huge, HUGE win for the Blues as they take down their Route 51 rivals. There was no time to rest on their laurels, however, as the team traveled down the historic Route 51 to Round Hill Park again for their away fixture to the Warriors in only three days time.
23 June 2009
West Mifflin falls again
West Mifflin Football Club 1-2 Wolfpack
1-0 Stafura (40)
1-1 Some Cunt (60)
1-2 Some Ohter Cunt (65)
Who the fuck cares about the lineup, we suck.
West Mifflin Football Club is not having a good season at all. There has been no chemistry or rhythym amongst the team since the beginning of the season and with the departure of Baguet for the rest of the season it is unlikely that they team will be able to fully recover. The Blues were without their top strike duo of Nick and Volk and did that ever hurt them. The long and short of it is that this teamm outside of those two, have no ability to shoot the ball. None. Stinner had a few decent shots (both with his weaker left foot) and Stafura opened his scoring account (one and a half years on) with a nice lunging tap in from a Gasparovic cross but there is no doubt the team needs considerable work in the finishing department. Within the first ten minutes WMFC were awarded a free kick a few yards outside of the area. Dalibor lined up for the kick. Stinner noticed that the wall was very far to the right of the net and that there was a ton of space out on the left of the wall. He signaled to Dalibor who read his thoughs exactly and fed a wonderful ball to the space. Now, had Stinner not been feeling like an 89 year old man who was walking outside for the first time since being put into his nursing home by his children that were sick of having to wipe his old, decrepit asshole, he would have gotten a touch to it and possibly slid it into the net. However, since he was feeling old and decrepit, theball shot past his foot...
...and right into the path of a wide open (and I mean wide open) Pcholinski who whiffed harder than a blind kid playing tee ball. Two chances blown on one through-ball.
It did not help matters that first choice keeper Rob Vargo was on an anus-spelunking expedition in the most homo city in all of North America. No, not San Francisco, Boston. And despite attempts to call in Chad Perry and the youngest DeLuca brother to backhim up, as well as Stinner's butchered finger, Matt Sax sacrificed himself and offered to tend to the goal. He did exceptional for someone that does not regularly play keeper and our hat goes off to him for it. Two lame ass corner kicks did West Mifflin in. Two corner kicks, two homo's heading the ball past Sax. And that was that.
On a more positive or in this case, more disappointing note since the Blues fucking lost again, West Mifflin dominated for the first 15 minutes of the second half. They pressed for that vital second goal and nearly came up with it several times. Without doubt Mike Hasson has to be the Man of the Match. He controlled the ball well, dictated the play in the center of the park and setup at least three chances that should have been more. At one point, he teased a defender in the corner and spotted Stinner pointing to the sky, indicating that he was ready to head the ball for the first time in his life. Hasson sent a cross in but it was boxjust too tall for the winger. Regardless, it showed the vision of the up anc coming center mid. Trying to out-suck Stinner, Pcholinksi whiffed AGAIN on another chance right in front of goal.
Now, despite the team sucking beyond all human comprehension, there were three individuals who sucked so infinitely more than our squad I can't believe the whole universe wasn't pulled into their anus's because of how bad they sucked. I am referring, of course, to the referees. These three idiots were the worst refs I have ever, EVER stood on a field with. The center ref made three calls about which his explanation was "he was in the air." Let that marinate for a second. So, all you would need to do to have a foul called on the man defending you is...jump. Fuck. Off. Then, with about one minute to go, Pcholinksi went on a dazzling run down the middle of the field and into the box. He dodged three defenders and then was kicked hard as fuck in his shin. But, he continued through. Then, he was sandwiched by two big cunts and was sent to ground. The dumbass center ref did nothing. Never in my life have I ever seen a more blatant foul not called. These dudes had to have been retarted.
After the game Stinner went to collect the cards from the refs and calmly indicated to them that he had never in his playing career (20 years) had he ever made one comment to a ref but that he had to this time. He then quietly told them that they were awful.
Oh well. There is always next week.
West Mifflin returns home to Borland this Sunday at 1:00p to play Elizabeth Forward.
1-0 Stafura (40)
1-1 Some Cunt (60)
1-2 Some Ohter Cunt (65)
Who the fuck cares about the lineup, we suck.
West Mifflin Football Club is not having a good season at all. There has been no chemistry or rhythym amongst the team since the beginning of the season and with the departure of Baguet for the rest of the season it is unlikely that they team will be able to fully recover. The Blues were without their top strike duo of Nick and Volk and did that ever hurt them. The long and short of it is that this teamm outside of those two, have no ability to shoot the ball. None. Stinner had a few decent shots (both with his weaker left foot) and Stafura opened his scoring account (one and a half years on) with a nice lunging tap in from a Gasparovic cross but there is no doubt the team needs considerable work in the finishing department. Within the first ten minutes WMFC were awarded a free kick a few yards outside of the area. Dalibor lined up for the kick. Stinner noticed that the wall was very far to the right of the net and that there was a ton of space out on the left of the wall. He signaled to Dalibor who read his thoughs exactly and fed a wonderful ball to the space. Now, had Stinner not been feeling like an 89 year old man who was walking outside for the first time since being put into his nursing home by his children that were sick of having to wipe his old, decrepit asshole, he would have gotten a touch to it and possibly slid it into the net. However, since he was feeling old and decrepit, theball shot past his foot...
...and right into the path of a wide open (and I mean wide open) Pcholinski who whiffed harder than a blind kid playing tee ball. Two chances blown on one through-ball.
It did not help matters that first choice keeper Rob Vargo was on an anus-spelunking expedition in the most homo city in all of North America. No, not San Francisco, Boston. And despite attempts to call in Chad Perry and the youngest DeLuca brother to backhim up, as well as Stinner's butchered finger, Matt Sax sacrificed himself and offered to tend to the goal. He did exceptional for someone that does not regularly play keeper and our hat goes off to him for it. Two lame ass corner kicks did West Mifflin in. Two corner kicks, two homo's heading the ball past Sax. And that was that.
On a more positive or in this case, more disappointing note since the Blues fucking lost again, West Mifflin dominated for the first 15 minutes of the second half. They pressed for that vital second goal and nearly came up with it several times. Without doubt Mike Hasson has to be the Man of the Match. He controlled the ball well, dictated the play in the center of the park and setup at least three chances that should have been more. At one point, he teased a defender in the corner and spotted Stinner pointing to the sky, indicating that he was ready to head the ball for the first time in his life. Hasson sent a cross in but it was boxjust too tall for the winger. Regardless, it showed the vision of the up anc coming center mid. Trying to out-suck Stinner, Pcholinksi whiffed AGAIN on another chance right in front of goal.
Now, despite the team sucking beyond all human comprehension, there were three individuals who sucked so infinitely more than our squad I can't believe the whole universe wasn't pulled into their anus's because of how bad they sucked. I am referring, of course, to the referees. These three idiots were the worst refs I have ever, EVER stood on a field with. The center ref made three calls about which his explanation was "he was in the air." Let that marinate for a second. So, all you would need to do to have a foul called on the man defending you is...jump. Fuck. Off. Then, with about one minute to go, Pcholinksi went on a dazzling run down the middle of the field and into the box. He dodged three defenders and then was kicked hard as fuck in his shin. But, he continued through. Then, he was sandwiched by two big cunts and was sent to ground. The dumbass center ref did nothing. Never in my life have I ever seen a more blatant foul not called. These dudes had to have been retarted.
After the game Stinner went to collect the cards from the refs and calmly indicated to them that he had never in his playing career (20 years) had he ever made one comment to a ref but that he had to this time. He then quietly told them that they were awful.
Oh well. There is always next week.
West Mifflin returns home to Borland this Sunday at 1:00p to play Elizabeth Forward.
18 June 2009
Injury/vacation battered WMFC hammered away
This game sucked and since it was more than a week ago I don't feel like writing about it. We got crushed. The side ref was the worst ref in the history of soccer. They had a ginger black guy on their team and I didn't get to play because of my finger. Our defense was pretty bad but at the same time we only had 13 people and it was hotter than a thousand suns that day. Fuck it. We have five games to go and PA West still hasn't put up the standings. The next game is Sunday at 6:00p at Round Hill park against Wolfpack - the team we crushed in a scrimmage and then lost to one-nil in the regular season. Stinner will be back and WMFC will be sporting a rearranged back four for this one. The result should be different. See you then.
01 June 2009
Three quick goals kill off WMFC
West Mifflin Football Club 2-5 Sporting Club of Pittsburgh
0-1 Some Guy (25)
1-1 Baguet (50)
2-1 Some Guy (60)
3-1 Some Guy (62)
4-1 Some Guy (65)
4-2 Drewski (71)
5-2 Danzey (og)(75)
Formation: 4-4-2
Lineup: Vargo; Danzey, Eton, Kutscher, Dalibor; Baguet, Pcholinski, Reed, Stinner; Volk, Daveon
Bench: Stafura, Lacock, Drewski, Sax, Hasson.
Last season, West Mifflin FC went to Schenley Park and handed Sporting Club a hard-fought 5-4 loss. This season, West Mifflin FC SUCKED. Almost every aspect of the Blues' game was terrible. The defense had more holes than Swiss Cheese, the midfield looked lost, and the strikers couldn't have kicked a ball into the Mon if they had been swimming in it. Save for a good 15 minute spell in the firsl half, WMFC looked like an Under-8 squad.West Mifflin had many chances early on before Sporting took the lead. On one chance, which because of a traumatic accident this weekend that has crippled your beloved Blues Reporter's writing hand is the only one I can remember, a long cross was played into the box and deflected off of a defender to Stinner. He contemplated trying some ridiculous shot (which no doubt he would have put in because he is the best of all time but he wants others to have a shot) he took a more practical approach and headed the ball into the path of an on-streaking Volk who tore into the box but rifled the ball wide. Then, Reed found himself in some space at the top of the box (impossible! he's far too large!) and let fly with a hard shot that took a deflection off of a defender. It looked as though it had beaten the keeper but the cunt reached back in time to flip the ball over the bar for a corner. The keeper had an excellent game, however, 98% of his saves were on shots directly at him. Hmmm. Shot location. Seems like something that could be addressed at, ohh I dunno...practice? But who needs that?
Anyway, Reed's corners fucking blew....big time. It appeared that he, along with fellow midfielder, Matthew Alan had a case of Beach Foot. Baguet was diagnosed mid-game with the more severe rendition of the disease, the Aruba-Right-Foot Disease. Reed's corners skied over the net and often never even entered the field of play and Baguet's shots landed everywhere but anywhere near the net.
Eventually, Sporting fought up the field and won a corner. One of the blokes snuck behind the goal and made his way around to the other side, dipping below the WMFC defense radar. The ball came in from the corner on the ground, through all of the WMFC defense right to the foot of Some Guy #1 who put it into the net. Poor defending. That did it for the scoring in the first half.
WMFC took just about ten minutes to level the score with Baguet blasting home the equalizer. Daveon made a nice move with Baguet on the left side and then the short-one made a run to the the box. Daveon played the ball across and sent his foot through the ball. Hard. Mike Stafura described the goal like this:
"Well, it was a good thing the net got in the way of that shot."
With the score even West Mifflin pressed to take the lead and it caused them to look bare at the back. The ball bounced to Eton who instead of hoofing the ball either up the field or out of play decided to lay the ball to the middle of the field in the direct path of an on-rushing striker who promptly dribbled in and slid the ball past Vargo for a 2-1 Sporting lead. The goal scorer this time is a Carnegie Mellon student?/alum? that graduated from...McKeesport High School. Yeah, I don't understand how that is possible either. A bunch of other stuff happened and about two minutes later Sporting scored again. Kutscher tried to rush up and meet the ball but it bounced over his head. That allowed the Sporting goal scorer to glide in and put the ball into the net. Then, when it seemed that WMFC had learned from their defensive woes, a Sporting player was allowed to dribble down the middle of the field and for the first time in his goalkeeping career, loft the ball over Vargo. Three quick goals left the Blues and the reported 25,000 supporters (they must have been in their cars or hiding in the woods) stunned like Joe Louis Arena in Game 5. '
It was all but over at this point. West Mifflin pulled one back later on through Drewski from inside the six from a Baguet corner, only to have it erased on a Danzey own goal. The striker came down the right side and took a shot across the line. It bounced off the defender and went into the net securing the points for Sporting. Fuck.
This game sucked and to make it worse, only a few hours afterwards I damn near chopped my fucking right middle finger off by saving a little girl from a dog attack ~ OR ~ by sticking my hand in a mulching chute while the lawnmower safety bar, designed to prevent accidents such as this, was being held in (by me) thus keeping the blade-a-buzzin'. Don't judge me.
West Mifflin FC's next game is Sunday, June 7th against Internationals UPG at 10:30a in Plum.
0-1 Some Guy (25)
1-1 Baguet (50)
2-1 Some Guy (60)
3-1 Some Guy (62)
4-1 Some Guy (65)
4-2 Drewski (71)
5-2 Danzey (og)(75)
Formation: 4-4-2
Lineup: Vargo; Danzey, Eton, Kutscher, Dalibor; Baguet, Pcholinski, Reed, Stinner; Volk, Daveon
Bench: Stafura, Lacock, Drewski, Sax, Hasson.
Last season, West Mifflin FC went to Schenley Park and handed Sporting Club a hard-fought 5-4 loss. This season, West Mifflin FC SUCKED. Almost every aspect of the Blues' game was terrible. The defense had more holes than Swiss Cheese, the midfield looked lost, and the strikers couldn't have kicked a ball into the Mon if they had been swimming in it. Save for a good 15 minute spell in the firsl half, WMFC looked like an Under-8 squad.West Mifflin had many chances early on before Sporting took the lead. On one chance, which because of a traumatic accident this weekend that has crippled your beloved Blues Reporter's writing hand is the only one I can remember, a long cross was played into the box and deflected off of a defender to Stinner. He contemplated trying some ridiculous shot (which no doubt he would have put in because he is the best of all time but he wants others to have a shot) he took a more practical approach and headed the ball into the path of an on-streaking Volk who tore into the box but rifled the ball wide. Then, Reed found himself in some space at the top of the box (impossible! he's far too large!) and let fly with a hard shot that took a deflection off of a defender. It looked as though it had beaten the keeper but the cunt reached back in time to flip the ball over the bar for a corner. The keeper had an excellent game, however, 98% of his saves were on shots directly at him. Hmmm. Shot location. Seems like something that could be addressed at, ohh I dunno...practice? But who needs that?
Anyway, Reed's corners fucking blew....big time. It appeared that he, along with fellow midfielder, Matthew Alan had a case of Beach Foot. Baguet was diagnosed mid-game with the more severe rendition of the disease, the Aruba-Right-Foot Disease. Reed's corners skied over the net and often never even entered the field of play and Baguet's shots landed everywhere but anywhere near the net.
Eventually, Sporting fought up the field and won a corner. One of the blokes snuck behind the goal and made his way around to the other side, dipping below the WMFC defense radar. The ball came in from the corner on the ground, through all of the WMFC defense right to the foot of Some Guy #1 who put it into the net. Poor defending. That did it for the scoring in the first half.
WMFC took just about ten minutes to level the score with Baguet blasting home the equalizer. Daveon made a nice move with Baguet on the left side and then the short-one made a run to the the box. Daveon played the ball across and sent his foot through the ball. Hard. Mike Stafura described the goal like this:
"Well, it was a good thing the net got in the way of that shot."
With the score even West Mifflin pressed to take the lead and it caused them to look bare at the back. The ball bounced to Eton who instead of hoofing the ball either up the field or out of play decided to lay the ball to the middle of the field in the direct path of an on-rushing striker who promptly dribbled in and slid the ball past Vargo for a 2-1 Sporting lead. The goal scorer this time is a Carnegie Mellon student?/alum? that graduated from...McKeesport High School. Yeah, I don't understand how that is possible either. A bunch of other stuff happened and about two minutes later Sporting scored again. Kutscher tried to rush up and meet the ball but it bounced over his head. That allowed the Sporting goal scorer to glide in and put the ball into the net. Then, when it seemed that WMFC had learned from their defensive woes, a Sporting player was allowed to dribble down the middle of the field and for the first time in his goalkeeping career, loft the ball over Vargo. Three quick goals left the Blues and the reported 25,000 supporters (they must have been in their cars or hiding in the woods) stunned like Joe Louis Arena in Game 5. '
It was all but over at this point. West Mifflin pulled one back later on through Drewski from inside the six from a Baguet corner, only to have it erased on a Danzey own goal. The striker came down the right side and took a shot across the line. It bounced off the defender and went into the net securing the points for Sporting. Fuck.
This game sucked and to make it worse, only a few hours afterwards I damn near chopped my fucking right middle finger off by saving a little girl from a dog attack ~ OR ~ by sticking my hand in a mulching chute while the lawnmower safety bar, designed to prevent accidents such as this, was being held in (by me) thus keeping the blade-a-buzzin'. Don't judge me.
West Mifflin FC's next game is Sunday, June 7th against Internationals UPG at 10:30a in Plum.
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