Officially Champions

After a month of waiting, West Mifflin Football Club were officially engraved as Champions. Managing Director and Supreme Lord of All, Bob Stinner received the GPSL Trophy today at his office and he looks forward to distributing it amongst the players this Saturday at PNC Park. West Mifflin FC will hold a celebration before and during the game. West Mifflin FC now have more trophies than Arsenal FC (London) in the last six years.

Once again, congratulations to West Mifflin Football Club for winning the 2011 GPSL Championship Division.

WMFC wins first GPSL title

Stinner accepts a game ball on behalf of the 2011 GPSL Championship Division Champions. The Blues will refuse promotion.

Sporting Club of Pittsburgh 0-1 West Mifflin FC

Vargo: Kutscher, Kufen, Gasparovic, Winters; Pcholinski, S. Hasson, Gauss, M.Hasson, Baguet; Stinner

Substitutes: Pasternak, Lee, Degerolamo, Isadore, Nickel, Lacock


0-1 Degerolamo (41) 
Some turd - yellow card (76)

West Mifflin lined up Sunday for their second finals appearance since their re-institution as a Club. The combination of several eras of West Mifflin soccer came to a head; joining forces with a handful of friends and acquaintances to form a unit that when fully intact, plays some formidable football. It was West Mifflin's first ever GPSL Final and it was being played one day after their first ever GPSL Semifinal. It was a weekend of firsts for the Blues and they took to the E Pitch looking to bring home their first piece of silverware. Ahhh, fine, they were looking to secure their first piece of silverware...and they were looking to secure it from a bunch of absolute and total jerks.*


The last time these two teams met was back on July 10th at Schenley Oval when Sporting Club romped the Blues to the tune of three goals to nil. Of course, West Mifflin had played a makeup game the day before and only had eleven guys, so a clean-cut, objective picture of how good Sporting Club really are wasn't exactly clear. However, when the game kicked off, WMFC looked comfortable and poised.

It wouldn't have been a playoff game at Graham Park if it wasn't hot as fuck all and that's exactly what it was. The Blues started the game with a change in formation as they opted to go with five across the middle to combat a strong Sporting mid-field duo that torched the Blues the first time around. Pcholinski, Gauss, both Hassons and Matthew Alan formed a wall in front of Winters and the defense. Stinner started as the lone forward. The game started off a back and forth affair, each team having their share of possession. Sporting had a slight edge in possession, but West Mifflin followed their blueprint: soak up pressure and hit on the counter. The defense, yet again, was beyond stellar - it was outstanding. There isn't enough praise that can be heaped on the defenders and goalkeeper.

And thank the maker for them, because also just like the blueprint for the previous ten games of the season, the Blues offense's allergic reaction to putting the ball in and around the mouth...of the goal, was flaring. Stinner was the first to have a chance when he was played through brilliantly by Pcholinski. For the first time all season, Pcholinski didn't wait a split second too long to make the pass and force the forward into an offside position. Stinner was through on goal. He carried into the box and wound up for a shot but touched the ball just a tad too far and having to take a huge lead step, dragged his foot across the mud before sending a trademark dinker straight at the keeper. It was a sign, however.

After Stinner's chance, Sporting Club took over slightly, keeping the ball in the attacking end and knocking it around. They didn't really create many clean chances, but it was easy to see how the Blues may have been opened up three times in the previous meeting. Things settled a bit after that stretch though and the Blues regained their gusto. Several long balls were sent over the top of the spotty Sporting back four allowing the West Mifflin forwards to run on. As the game went on, the back four looked really exposed and as West Mifflin got more comfortable, a goal looked increasingly more likely. About four minutes before halftime, the breakthrough was made.

Anthony Michael James Earl Jones LOL Kid GARBAGE Degerolamo went the entire regular season without scoring a goal. In fact, I'm not even sure Degerolamo's shots on goal for the season extends to a second set of fingers. For a man with a K/D of 2.05, those numbers simply weren't good enough. It didn't help that a day earlier in WMFC's semifinal victory over Arsenal, Degerolamo squandered a couple chances to put the Blues ahead. He was visibly perturbed by this and Stinner noticed.

I said to him: don't be a bitch...you little bitch. When you go 8-10 do you cry about it? No, you go 35-3 the next match. YOU GAAAAARBAAAGGGGGEEEEEE!!!!!

It had to have had some kind of affect on the forward because finally, after 961 minutes of drawing blanks, Degerolamo came through. Jared Pcholinski, carrying the extra burden of a 12 pound mosquito bite on his forehead, darted through the middle with the ball. He danced through defenders with Degerolamo out on his right. Just at the right moment, Degerolamo made a run towards the end line and Pcholinski placed the ball into this path perfectly. No failed spin-move needed here - only power. Degerolamo blasted it as hard as he could at the less-than-imposing goalkeeper. I can't say the keeper had no chance because I was on the bench at the time, but let's just say the finish was pretty like this.** With a firm understanding of Degerolamo's propensity to be a camping twatcup, it probably was lame, but it doesn't matter, because the Blues (who wear white - and who were playing against a team actually wearing blue) were 1-0 to the good, and they took the lead into the break.

West Mifflin rested up at the half, but there was a buzz around the bench area -the excitement from being close to a first championship. Or, it may have been the hangover oozing from Tony Kostelnik's pores. Either way, the mood at halftime was a relaxed anticipation to start the second half, knowing that the team was 45 minutes away from silverware. That confidence manifested itself in the Blues play the first 15 or so minutes of the second half. It only took ten and a half games (and granted, a full compliment of subs on the bench) but the Blues passed the ball around remarkably well. The ball went from: defense to the center mids to the wings, if there was nothing available there it went back to the center mids who would try the other side. If they couldn't get it to a winger it went back to the defense who would work it around amongst themselves and then back to the center mids - and so on and so forth. It was beautiful. Perhaps the work done at those one or two practices back in April and early May finally came to fruition. Ehhh, then again, probably not because it only lasted about a 1/3 of the half and what came next almost destroyed WMFC's hopes of pulling off the win.

Just before the shift from beautiful and fluent to disturbingly negative,Vargo made one of the best saves of the season. He was out cutting off the angle on a striker who had made his way into the area. With two defenders around him, he put a hard, low shot on target. It's really kind of hard to describe, but Vargo reached behind himself to stop the shot by pinning it against the ground. It was surely either going into the net or straight into the path of another Sporting player who would have put it in. It was a gem. Vargo played extremely well the entire game and made several really good stops. He was vocal and demanding the entire game, made good decisions and came and collected when needed.

It wasn't all moonlight and roses for the Blues, however. After that wonderful spell of Arsenal-esque passing, the Blues decided to try a little Birmingham - which would have been fine, except they took it to a dangerous extreme. Instead of keeping ten men inside their half of the field and pressuring the opponents up high, they kept ten men within their most defensive quarter of the field. The midfield were pushed all the way back between the center circle and the penalty area causing the defense to be packed up right behind them, leaving Sporting Club acres of space to mount an attack. Luckily, Mike Hasson noticed this and subbed on as a second central defender and sorted it out. After they got sorted out, the Blues were able to stretch Sporting, who had reverted to a 3-4-3.

West Mifflin had so many chances on the counter that I couldn't possibly describe them all here. The two most prominent chances involved Lee. On the first chance, he was clean through on the keeper with Sean Hasson outside of him. The goon of a defender had something as well, a fist full of Lee's shirt. Lee eventually broke free and the ref played the advantage but somehow the opportunity went begging. A second time the same goon nearly tore Daveon's pants clean off of his legs as the fleet-footed forward sped after a gorgeously placed through-ball sent rolling past the pressing Sporting midfield. The turd was the last man and clearly should have received a red card, but it was only a yellow. No one was complaining too much - other than Kostelnik who didn't even know the rule until someone on the bench said something - with the victory so close.

After a few more minutes the final whistle blew and the bench poured out onto the field. The Blues had done it - they can now call themselves champions. Who would have thought this would be how the 2011 season ended after getting trounced in that opening friendly, 4-0? After four seasons the cards finally all fell in exactly the right places at exactly the right time. It appears as though Managing Director Bob Stinner has found an ideal mix of youth and experience for his Manager, Bob Stinner to work with. So,congratulations to the boys. It was an outstanding season to be sure.

Thank you to all who played this year: all the regular players that have been playing since 1995 and 2008; players that came in midway through the season to provide cover for players on vacation, or at picnics that they could very easily have left and gone back to after the game but instead abandoned their teammates to play against a good team in the 98 degree heat and lose 1-0 on the fucking flukiest goal ever; all of the new guys that Bob Stinner scouted, negotiated with and signed all on his own no matter what anyone says and even though one of the two players that became centerpieces of the championship winning team are related to Mike Hasson and the other just so happened to play college soccer with Mike Hasson it was still all by Bob Stinner and Bob Stinner only and if there are any more signings in the future this truth will remain; and even players like Tom Klein who has been suffering with a lacerated vagina and Chris Reed who had his ACL torn by some tosser deserve thanks for their contributions earlier in the year.

It was fun boys. Let's try to do it again next year.


*I actually had no problem with anyone on the team.
**Barcelona, their players, their fans, basically anyone involved with them are complete and total c**tchops. 

West Mifflin downs shorthanded Arsenal to advance to Championship game

Arsenal 1-1 West Mifflin FC (West Mifflin win 4-2 on penalties)

Vargo; Kufen, Pasternak, Gasparovic, Winters; Gauss, M. Hasson, S. Hasson, Gauss; Stinner, Lacock

Substitutes: Nickel, Lee, Degerolamo, Isadore, Kutscher

1-0 Gauss (53)

1-1 Hamstring-less Wonder (89)

The Blues took on Arsenal, the GPSL Championship Division's class team for the second week in a row on Saturday, July 30th, for the right to play in the title game the following day. A mere six days ago, Arsenal bested the Blues 2-1 at their home field at Shady Side Academy on a complete twat-wad of a handball call. The memory of being screwed out of a victory probable draw (at best) served as motivation for the Blues, who needed two halves of extra time and penalties to advance. 

Irony is a funny thing, and fortunately for the Blues, they were the ones getting the punchlines. West Mifflin, a team that has had tremendous difficulty getting enough people to games, was swimming in substitutes, while Arsenal, a team with I'm sure thousands of speedy little minions that are created with mud and sticks like Orcs, had exactly 11. The game played out similarly to that of the game a week earlier - with Arsenal passing fluently and intelligently - but West Mifflin were able to be more physical  more often because of the numbers advantage. And thank God, because despite only having 11 players - one of which was nearly immobile because of a pulled hamstring - Arsenal still pinged the ball around like they were the real fucking Arsenal.  

There is little to talk about of the first half because as usual I can't remember anything. West Mifflin had a few chances, but what they were or how they came about I can't recall. All I can remember is a massive blob of turd-fat and his merry sidekick being behind the West Mifflin bench drinking beer and belching. They were shirtless...and it was horrifying. I'm grasping here because I really want to get to the Championship game. My memory of that game is slightly more fresh...but fading fast. 

Somehow, Arsenal got a free kick just off the top left of the box. The British coach and Lanky Turd lined up over the ball. Lanky Turd ran up as if he was going to take the kick and continued on past the wall, while the coach fed him the ball on the flank. Yeah...that's where I go blank. They didn't score though. Stinner had a couple chances but fluffed them both. Annnnnnd halftime.

The second  half is as much an abscess of nothing as the first half was. However, after about  eight minutes, West Mifflin made the breakthrough. The ball was passed around a few times and eventually was crossed in to Gauss. Gauss did something and then bundled it in. The WMFC bench went wild. 

There really is little else to talk about until we get to the end of regular time. Earlier in the second half, Lanky Turd was jostling with one of WMFC's midfielders when he suddenly dropped for no reason. Immediately, an EMT came sprinting across the pitch, for there was no doubt Turd suffered severe brain, heart, lung, nervous system and sphincter aneurysms all at that same exact moment. But wait...no! The little cunt just took the second worst dive of his career. The shit got up grinning like the Cheshire cat - knowing full well he took a dive. Nothing came of it, but talk about foreshadowing. 

With only around a minute and a half remaining in the match, Lanky Turd outdid his first dive with one of the worst flops of all time. I'm not even sure who was 'guilty' of the love tap, but someone ever so gingerly nudged this flimsy little turd and he flopped like a cinder block being dropped off a cliff. What's the worst part? Lanky Turd stands up with that same poxy-gummed grin on his face. Just moments before, another Arsenal player was absolutely mauled by Lacock, but whatever. This dive was criminal. So, an incensed band of WMFC players lined up around the outside of the box, heaping expletives at this dude as he lined up to take his ill-gotten penalty. I'm not even sure Vargo guessed the right way (I seem to remember that he did), but Karma, in all her glory, sent that bullshit clanging off of the post and eventually out for a corner. Immediately, a complete shit-storm of disses and name-calling rained down on Turd. It was really nothing less than he deserved. Unfortunately, the ensuing corner was turned into the top corner by a guy with a pulled hamstring that couldn't lift his leg to stop over an ant. Extra time was on the cards. 

West Mifflin put immense pressure on Arsenal in the two extra frames. I really don't remember any of the two halves except that Gasparovic was on a rampage. Normally, he reserves his guile and malice for people that actually talk shit. In this case, however, the anger was too great, and the hot-headed Slovakian(?) started yelling at and bouncing into the Arsenal player/coach...completely unprovoked. In hindsight, that shit was hilarious. No one scored in the extra time so it went to PK's. 

West Mifflin sent Baguet, Degerolamo, Gauss, S. Hasson, and M. Hasson to the spot. Baguet lined up and fired a beauty into the top corner. Arsenal responded with a make of their own. Degerolamo, in a wonderful and fitting ode to the FIFA video game franchise, chose to be a little snake and send it down the middle. The keeper dove and got a hand to it, but the shot was too much and it soared into the net. Arsenal responded with the first miss of the shootout, sending it wide to the right. The PK master, Steve Gauss, lined up to take his turn with a bum calf and for the first time I've ever witnessed, sent his kick wide.* The next Arsenal guy tied it back up at two a piece. Sean Hasson was next and sent a bullet up high and in to make it 3-2. The next Arsenal player stepped up. It was the kid with red hair. Not the Carrot Top curly haircut red hair, the regular red hair. He stepped up, picked his spot and let fly. Rob Vargo picked the same spot, leaped across the mouth of the goal, and made the stop. Cheers erupted as the Birthday Boy, Mike Hasson, a Bob Stinner signing from a year ago, stepped up to finish the job. The controller started rumbling. Mike placed the ball and took a few steps back. He looked at the keeper and took a deep breath (I guess). He made his approach and pummeled the ball into the top of the goal and the Blues rushed the field in celebration. That was it. The Arsenal were unbeaten no longer and WMFC was on its way to its first ever GPSL Championship game. 

Check back tomorrow for what I hope to be a less shitty match report of the Championship game. 

Cheers!

*I blame Tony Kostelnik.

Playoff Dates and Times

West Mifflin will play Arsenal at 12:00p on Saturday, July 30th at Graham Park in Cranberry, PA on Field G.

Directions can be found here.

If the Blues (that wear white) win, they will play for the Championship against the winner of Sporting Club of Pittsburgh Bhoys and Sweep The Leg on Sunday, July 31st on Field E at 2:00p. In the regular season, WMFC lost 3-0 and 2-1 to those teams, respectively.

Show some support.

The goal

And just then, a beam of light came forth from the darkened skies; a saving hand from the heavens. A boot came across the penalty area, parting the infidels and making its way to the loosened ball. The darkness trembled as this translucent ray shattered the blackened sky. Just when all hope was lost; just when the Blues collective rear felt too sore from the reaming they had received from the incompetent referee; just when each of them wanted to fold, fall to their knees and scream: LET ME OUT!...a hero stepped forth. A man of integrity. A man of strength. A man of grace, skill and power. A man that personifies all that is right, not just in the world of football, but in the...uhh...regular world as well. A man whose patience is exemplified week in and week out as he deals with college educated teammates that are incapable of typing either 'Yes' or 'No' in response to a straightforward inquiry such as, 'Can you make it Sunday?' Yes, this was a man of belief. A man of charisma. A man of unrepentant drive and determination. A man of...poise. Winters (?) lobbed the ball over a few defenders heads (?) to Lacock who raced down the side and into the corner. He sent the ball across the mouth of the goal where Degerolamo's sliding attempt took him into the keeper. Another little shit dove onto the pile too. The Hero found himself all alone in the box with the ball bouncing toward him. He drove his left foot through the ball, guiding it perfectly past the mangled pile of humanity that lay on the goal line and into the side panel. The man spun around to return to the center circle with the same poise that allowed him to place the ball neatly and precisely where it needed to go. It can't be said for sure but reports from around the time of The Goal, yes, just as the ball crossed the line, a man on crutches sitting in the bleachers threw away the sticks and walked freely with no assistance! Dogs not yet housebroken began opening their owners doors and letting themselves out to piss and shit. Snobs from  Fox Chapel realized that they're not better than everyone else just because they're from Fox Chapel. It was a miracle. A work of heaven, personified by The Hero. But despite these phenomena coming to pass before everyone's very eyes, there was no celebration. There was no whooping and yapping. Just a few congratulatory handshakes, for the man knew there was still work to be done. But for that one fleeting moment, those at the Shady Side Academy stadium were exposed to the humanized iteration of grace and precision. And despite only a handful bearing witness on that Sabbath, all were enlightened.

Blues lose on bumblefuck call, still feel like winners

Arsenal 2-1 West Mifflin FC

Vargo: Kutscher, Degerolamo, Gasparovic, Winters; Pcholinski, M. Hasson, Gauss, Baguet; Stinner, Lacock

Substitutes: Isadore, Pasternak, Lee, S. Hasson 

0-1 Some turd (pen) (11)
0-2 Some other turd (25)
1-2 Stinner (43)

Huh? Crikey, I must have forgotten to describe the rest of the game...was there anything else to see? I'll do my best to make it interesting. Arsenal are good. They're young(er) and if I fancied to make a wager I'd bet my house they've been playing together at least three good years and practice three times a week. They pass the ball extremely well. Passes are either right to the player they're looking for or weighted perfectly into an area of space where the receiver can jog, without breaking their stride right onto the end of it. In other words: they're c****s. Seriously though, there's a reason why they ran the regular season table and scored 25 while only giving up five. The Blues had their work cut of for them. Unfortunately, the same ref that booted this game was back to shit on West Mifflin's game.

Now, a team of Arsenal's caliber doesn't need help from the referee. Much to the chagrin of the Blues, however, help from the ref is precisely what the home team got after only about 11 minutes. The Blues were being passed around like practice comes but were still holding the fort down. The Arse had shots, but none to really trouble Vargo. Then Kutscher made a run across the area, chasing his mark. A ball was shot across the box from behind him and in his stride, yes, that's right, as he was pumping his arms to run, the ball struck his hand. The chances of Kutscher actually knowing where the ball was is approximately 0.00%. But the ref immediately blew the whistle for a penalty. One of the worst calls of all time and more evidence that this ref doesn't know what he's doing or just doesn't pay any attention. Some Turd stepped up, sent Vargo the opposite way and drilled it in for a 1-0 lead. That horrendous call would be the difference in the game.

What made that bullshit call/goal  even more infuriating was the nature in which Arsenal got their second. Yes, some really good passing preceded the goal but the final ball was provided by the 3,427th out of 3,427 ricochets the ball took off of seven different players' legs. After it ping-ponged around for 40 minutes the ball rolled perfectly into the path of some little turd who ran onto it and pinked it off the post and in. So, the best team in the league, despite dominating possession and having close to 90% possession was only ahead 2-0 through a complete c**t of a handball call and the luckiest throughball in the history of sport.

Just before the end of the first half, however, this happened.

So, Stinner got his first of the season and West Mifflin took that into the bench area as a confidence boost...and what a boost it was. Stinner, of course, was lauded by his teammates for such a spectacular goal. However, the always humble gentleman had this to say about his first half strike:

If you freeze-framed me just before I struck the ball and said to me to write on this here piece of paper the ten locations you thought the ball might go after I struck it, with one being where I most likely thought the ball will go and ten being the least likely, #10 would have been where it went.

The second half didn't look anything like the first. The Blues (that wear white) pressured Arsenal in every area of the pitch and didn't allow them anywhere near as much freedom as in the first half. Kudos yet again to the defense and all around superb effort of the midfield. If there's one thing the team does well, it's defend. For two years on the trot, West Mifflin has come second in goals allowed behind only the division winners.

There was little in the second half that's worthy of me racking my brain to remember in detail. Gauss sent in a good cross to Stinner early in the second, but Stinner, after years of not practicing the Mr. Gauss 45 degree angle drill, misread it and it sailed over his head. Pcholisnki waited too long to make a pass - leaving the forward he was passing the ball to offside...again. Towards the end, Stinner sent an absolutely glorious (serious this time, it was a beauty) ball over the heads of three defenders after a failed Arsenal charge left the middle of the park gaping with space. It fell perfectly for Daveon or someone and I don't remember what the hell happened after that...but the ball was perfect.

But that really is about it for the game. Arsenal knocked the ball around and pulled as many childish stunts as possible to waste time towards the end. The Blues had one final chance to tie with a free kick about 40 yards out. Baguet crossed it in and, like the real Arsenal, the pretend Arsenal weren't able to effectively clear their lines and were forced to defend a corner. Lacock sent in the corner but nothing came of it.

So, the Blues fall but they certainly don't feel like they lost. The best team in the league lucked out on one goal and were gifted another. They'd better rest up because it's Arsenal again on Saturday in the GPSL Playoffs Semi-finals at that park in Cranberry with the big Dick's (hehe) sign.

More information as it is received.

Til' next time.

West Mifflin clinch second consecutive playoff berth

and


 

From the West Mifflin FC Supporters Club.

WMFC clinch second playoff berth with 1-0 win over Indiana

West Mifflin FC 1-0 Indiana County FC


Vargo; Kutscher, Kufen, Gasparovic, Winters; Pcholinski, Hasson, Gauss, Baguet; Lacock, Stinner


Substitutes: Pasternak


1-0 Some Turd (og) (38)

 Yellow Card - Some Turd (79)

West Mifflin took to the pitch Sunday night with one task on their minds: getting the Indiana County monkey farm animal off their backs. For the last two years, West Mifflin's season has ended with a 3-1 defeat to the All Blacks. Last season, after WMFC clinched a playoff berth for the first time since their inception into the GPSL Championship  Indiana knocked the Blues out of the playoffs after a grueling sun-soaked 90 minutes in Cranberry. Luckily for West Mifflin, Indiana were a shell of the team that went 9-0 in the regular season last year as they made the trip to Borland Park lingering in 8th spot in the table. A win would go a long way for West Mifflin's confidence heading into the final game of the regular season - a make-up against league leaders, Arsenal. Unbeknownst (1:03) to them at the time, but knownst to us all now, a win for the Blues would be enough to seal their second ever and second consecutive trip to the GPSL playoffs.

As usual the Borland pitch was a scorched mess. The grass looked like a giant, grizzly clump of hag's hair and it was hotter than Hades. In other news: tomorrow the sun will rise. Luckily for all involved, the West Mifflin Gunners of the GPSL Third Division, who share Borland Park with the Blues, shortened the field by a few yards when they prepared the field for their game. It made both teams and their one and two subs lives' a lot better off. The sun blared down on everyone and made affairs for the occupant of the Forest End goal that much more difficult. In the first half, that was Vargo and the Blacks tried to test him right from the opening kick. As Lacock and Stinner stood shooting the shit at the top of the circle, Indiana rolled the ball forward and took an uncontested shot. Luckily, Vargo was paying attention and made the save. You know who else was paying attention? The defense. All four of Kutscher, Kufen, Gasparovic and Winters were outstanding.

Again this week I can't really recall much of the game. Probably because I spent most of it avoiding eye contact with Vargo so he wouldn't punt the ball my way and force me to use something other than my foot. Did I just break character? Whatever. The one thing I do recall from the game are the SKYBOMBS. There were tons. But we'll get to those later. On a serious note, West Mifflin handled the game really well despite only having one sub. Blues sweeper Kutscher put it best:

When we have all of our guys we're one of the better teams in the league.

There's really little to say in argument. With the defense fully intact, West Mifflin was able to field a full-strength midfield of Pcholinski, Gauss, Hasson and Baguet with Winters playing a roaming stopper. The axis of Gauss, Hasson and Winters is really tough to break down and their ability to find the open man is second to none. About half way through the first half some good work from that midfield lead to a WMFC free kick just outside of the area. Baguet and Pcholinski lined up over the ball and stared in at the net like two dildo's approaching entry (I'm not entirely sure what that means...but they looked gay). Baguet, fooling no one, ran hobbled up as if he was going to take the shot, gingerly stepped over the ball with his rotten groin and made way for Pcholinski to take a shot. It was a good effort but the ball drifted a few feet wide of the goal.

Moments later the deadlock was broken. Stinner gracefully received the ball from Baguet between the corner of the area and the touchline. A series of passes ensued -the order of which escapes me. Stinner and Baguet eventually got the ball to Gauss who I think got the cross is. The Indiana defender came across the box just inside the six to defend. Behind him, Lacock was charging the cross looking to bag his third of the season. He wouldn't need it. The defender, who had to make a play on the ball or else Lacock surely would have tapped in, blasted the ball into his own net.

The Blues controlled the first half with relative ease. The first half of the second half (...yeah) was more of the same. However, the latter portion of the second half saw the possession stat tip in Indiana's favor. This was mostly due to the Blues only having one sub. Maybe that was the cause of the 84 SKYBOMBS West Mifflin managed on the day. The most prominent of the day must have been Pcholinski, who sent a Rory McIlroy chip shot rocketing over the goal and into the Forest End, well, forest. That wasn't even his first of the day. Gauss had one as well, as did Baguet I think although his may have been a puddle cruiser that went 12 miles wide. Pasternak had one as well but the Hebrew Hammer explained that he struck the ball with his weaker left foot, which houses a broken bone, and could I spare a fiver, that he wouldn't be able to pay back anytime soon. I kid.

About half way through the second half, Hasson, after some fancy footwork to beat the defender in the corner, pulled back a perfect cross for Stinner who whiffed like Bruce Bochy and MLBs players picking the NL All Stars. The ball bounced to Cory Winters who sent a gorgeous shot towards goal that beat the keeper but went clanging into the crossbar. That was just one of West Mifflin's many shots that peppered the Indiana goal but couldn't find its way in. Hasson also struck the crossbar on a long range effort. Stinner had another chance when Gauss broke through the area and slid the ball back to him just above the penalty spot. The ball wasn't perfect and he had to stretch for it but he got good contact. Unfortunately, it was straight at the keeper. Yes, despite having their chances the Blues couldn't put another one past the lumbering keeper who was really unlucky on the own goal. Otherwise, he had a good game but the Blues came away with the three points and secured their second consecutive trip to the playoffs.

Also, some turd from Indiana got a yellow card for bitching about the center ref and telling her she was 'fucking shit!' In other news: the sky is blue.

Until next time: COME ON YOU BLUES (THAT WEAR WHITE).

West Mifflin humbled at The Oval

Sporting Club of Pittsburgh Bhoys 3-0 West Mifflin FC


Vargo; don't know, don't know, don't know, don't know; don't know, don't know, don't know, don't know; don't know, don't know


Substitutions: don't know, don't know, don't know


0-1 Some turd (don't know)
0-2 Some turd (don't know)
0-3 Some turd (don't know)


Lame.

But check this out (thanks to 7amkickoff):

West Mifflin defeats Allegheny United 3-1

Allegheny United 1-3 West Mifflin FC

Vargo; Kutscher, Kufen, Gasparovic, Winters; Etc., Etc., Etc., Etc.; Etc....

(1-0) Goal! Daveon

(2-0) Goal! Daveon

(3-0) Goal! Winters

(3-1) Some Guy

Daveon shot the ball and scored! Then some stuff happened...and he scored again! WOWEE!!! Winters shot the ball and it hit off of some turd and it went in! Yahooooo! Uh oh, Jordan punched a girl. Free kick. They scored. 3-1. Final whistle!


Great!

Three points!

Gauss bags a brace to help West Mifflin beat talkative bunch

FTM United 1-2 West Mifflin FC


Vargo; Kutscher, Kufen, Nickel, Gasparovic; Baguet, Gauss, Pcholinski, Lacock; Stinner, Degerolamo


Substitutions: Daveon, Isadore

1-0 Gauss (13)
1-1 Some Turd (56)
Daveon-Yellow Card  (65)
Some Turd-Yellow Card (73)
2-1 Gauss (pen) (73)
Some Other Turd-Yellow Card (88)


The Blues traveled into Pennsylvania back country for a game with third place FTM United on Sunday, and were greeted with shitty refereeing and even worse whining and bitching. From the jump there was wailing and gnashing of teeth of biblical proportions from the gentleladies in red. As has become the norm, West Mifflin went into this game with 13 of their possible 19 squad members. Yes, while some spent the day gallivanting about town, leaving their teammates to unnecessarily suffer exhaustion and heatstroke, others fought the laboriously high grass and equally tall tackles of the Ladies in Red. Despite the ridiculous shortage of man-power, the Blues found a way to grab all three points.

West Mifflin went into this game knowing little about their opponent. The Reds had beaten some top teams, lost and drawn with some lower-table teams, and tied teams that have scored a lot of goals 1-1. Although they didn't receive any intuition as to style of play or overall skill, the Blues got a really good idea as to what FTM United were about when they got to the field and noticed several opposition players prancing about with no shirts on. Ignorance is strength though and West Mifflin dominated the early goings on. West Mifflin started the game in a shuffled 4-4-2. With Kutscher returning to sweeper, Pcholinski was able to move back into the center of the park to partner with Gauss. Gasparovic moved to stopper and Nickel got a start out on the left side of defense. West Mifflin's midfield were strong from the start. The triumvirate of Gauss, Baguet and Pcholinski and their ability to win balls and find an open man is impeccable. On several occasions, both Stinner and Degerolamo were released on a nicely guided through ball to the corners. It didn't take long for Stinner to realize something: the right back had absolutely no idea what he was doing. It made sense, for he was one of the shirtless wonders. Whenever the ball was in the Reds attacking zone, he would push way too far up the field and leave acres of space down the right side. Stinner and Degerolamo exploited the space repeatedly but couldn't find a way to put the ball into the net. Probably because Stinner looks and feels like this.

Stinner's best chance came halfway through the first half when Pcholinski sent in a perfect cross. Stinner lunged for it and slid on his six year old studs and yanked his hamstring. Not too big a deal other than the sheer ridiculousness of the miss, as moments later, Gauss scored an absolute peach. I don't remember if it was from open play or a corner [Edit: it was a free kick], or even who sent it in (I think Lacock) [Edit: it was a midget-man with an over-compensating temper, below-average Rock-Paper-Scissor skills and the weakest calf muscles in the world who sent in a really poor cross], but Gauss flew across the box and leaped into the air. The cross was so unbelievably bad, Gauss was fortunate he had the awareness to get his hair-wax based, mohawk-styled head to the ball. He was able and he glanced it up and over the outstretched keeper and into the back corner...

The crowd was silenced by the goal which is strange because they bitched in equal magnitude to the players they came to support. Which was also strange because what happened next was a clear indication of the character of these turds. On a corner kick some jerk tried to punch the ball into the net. The center ref, who very well could have been refereeing the first game of his life, didn't blow his whistle. The assistant referee, upon being asked by Matthew Alan point blank if he saw the hand ball, said he did in fact see it...but didn't raise the flag. Yikes.

The second half started almost identically to the first with West Mifflin dominating possession and squandering several chances. Of course, I can't recall any of them outside of Stinner going up for a header...and not heading it. I think it was around this time that Daveon got a yellow card. I also can't remember if this happened in the first or second half, but he got one and I'm sure it was probably a bad call. Yada, yada, yada, FTM equalized on yet another rinky dinker. It may have been a corner and it may not have been, but the ball bounced around the area for what seemed like ages until a red-clad plonker plooped it in to make it 1-1. It was a shitty goal to concede and it was made worse by the jubilant reaction of the home crowd. Rubbing salt into the wound, Dan-The-Man Isadore, added to the squad mid-season to add depth to the threadbare WMFC roster at the behest of Head Scout Chris Nickel and Scouting Director Tyler Lacock, left with an undisclosed foot injury and was unable to return - leaving WMFC with only 12 fit players to see out the remaining 20-odd minutes.

It didn't look good for West Mifflin but it's times like these that the leaders step up, grab the team by the short hairs and lead them to victory. So, who stepped up and lead the team on? Degerolamo. And what did he do to stand out as a hard-nosed, "let's get down to business", even-though-I-never-come-to-practice-I-still-think-I-should-start-and-play-the-whole-game GAAARRRBAAAAAAGGGGEEEEE Man of a leader? He took a dive. Or so, that's what the entirety of FTM's 11 thought. Yes, those mighty bastions of truth that only 40 minutes earlier tried to score on a corner by flailing a hand at a cross were accusing Degerolamo of diving when he was clearly bulled over by the defender. There was no hesitation from the assistant ref and the flag was raised immediately. In the kerfuffle that ensued, a stumpy, dwarfish man had the nerve to say something to Gauss, whose faux-hawk was now lined up over the penalty spot. It was a silly comment to make and he was shown yellow. Gauss lined up and shot it to the keeper's left. The keeper chose the correct side but couldn't get to it. Gauss had his double and West Mifflin regained the lead for good. After that the Blues went into Bolton-mode and barricaded the 15 yards outside the penalty area with 10 defenders for the remainder of the game.

One final note: Kufen raced down a stray ball that was headed for the touchline. He beat the ball there and was able to boot it out for a throw. Once the call was made, a Justin Timberlake wannabe, Justin Timberfake (cheers to my RMU roommates) if you will, turned and once again mouthed off to the ref. He was also shown yellow and that was that. West Mifflin leapfrogged FTM United with the win and now sit third in the GPSL Championship table on 14 points. There is no game this weekend but the Blues will play back-to-back on Saturday and Sunday next weekend. Hopefully, the Blues will have more than 12 for those two big games. See you then!

West Mifflin beaten by the luckiest, most rinky-dink goal in the history of world football

West Mifflin FC 0-1 Century V White

Vargo: Pcholinski, Kufen, Jordan, Etan; Tyler, Gauss, Baguet, Daveon; Stinner, Degerolamo

Substitutes: Nickel, Isadore, Winters?-I don't remember



0-1 Some lucky fuck (68)


This fixture is becoming an unlucky one for WMFC. Last year the Blues took the lead on a Gauss header early on and held it until the very end when a dodgy free kick that scuttled past Vargo saw them drop points. This season brought more of the same as the boys were beaten by what was easily the most pathetic goal of all time. Century V are skilled, powerful and quick. West Mifflin, for the most part, are none of those things. They play physical and occasionally connect the proverbial dots with good passes. On this particular Sunday, however,  the Blues (again, rocking their whites) were pinned back in their own end most of the game and were relegated to lumping the ball out of danger. It was another hot one and they were again without several key players due to injury and wanton libatious celebrations.

The first half was almost completely dominated by Century V. Possession had to have been somewhere around a 70-30 split. Century got their shots but never really troubled Vargo. There were a few moments where a player in a red shirt appeared to have loads of space only to have a WMFC defender charge onto him and alter his course. There were also times when that same scenario arose and the man in red blasted a shot towards goal completely unchallenged - the boys in white too tired from huffing around the sun-soaked pitch with only three subs when they should have had six. Despite being on the wrong end of the possession statistic, WMFC managed to keep the ball out of their net and even threatened one or two times in the first half. Cory Winters had a very good run down the left side and could have been in for a cross to Stinner who had freed himself up at the top of the box had a Century V defender not nicked the ball away at the last second. I also seem to recall Daveon and Gauss having chances as well. However, all went afoul before the ball could be placed into the net.

Tactically, WMFC had to reshuffle the lineup to accommodate their missing starters. The 4-2-3-1 formation that had worked wonders through the first few games just wasn't doable without the Hasson brothers manning the holding mid spots. Without Kutscher, Pcholinski had to take over at sweeper which left a second, third, and fourth gap in the midfield in addition to the loss of Reed and his chins.West Mifflin returned to a regular 4-4-2 and their having a line of players at the 18 and the 50 and no one between. Dan Isadore made his debut for WMFC and played very well in defense. In fact, all of the defense was outstanding throughout. They were all sucking wind at the end, but they kept the opposition at bay for as long as they could.

About five minutes before half-time, Stinner subbed back on as a defender. Before he turned to Kufen and two others on the bench and said,

I bet you they score before half-time with me back there

With about 15 seconds remaining in the half, a cross was played in from the left side. Stinner awkwardly leaped for the ball only to see it soar over his head and right at the nearly-perfectly positioned striker. The striker got his head to it, but could only send it wide of the goal. The whistle blew. Almost prophetic.

In the second half, WMFC saw a little more of the ball and were slightly more threatening. Century V, realizing that there was no way in hell they should not be winning the game given the obvious disparity in average skill per player that was clearly skewed in their favor, started to push forward aggressively which left a big gap in the back (<---that sounds like a song title that Sisqo might use). It's hard for me to say that Century V didn't deserve the goal because over the course of the game they were the only team that looked anything like scoring, but the way it went in is totally ass-chapping. Here goes: a cross came in from Vargo's left. Kufen and Gauss were back to defend and each had a mark to follow. The ball soared across the field. It ricocheted off one of the forwards and then looked as though it may have bounced off of something else. As Vargo darted across the goal line nimbly, the ball took another deflection, changing its course and sending it underneath Vargo had who made it over to protect that side of the net. Sadly and slowly, like George Costanza rounding third in a beer league softball game, the ball rolled into the net at a snail's pace. Seriously, it took longer for that ball to cross the line than Antonio Cromartie to name all of his kids - and he's still trying to name those last few. And that was how the Blues fell. The worst goal ever.

On the whole, the game was officiated really well. Except when the refs decided to be racist*. Twice Daveon found himself slicing into the area when the whistle was blown for a shaky foul. First, the defenders foot (in running motion) clipped Daveon's shin. He fell over and instead of waving play on and allowing Daveon his toe-ball, the ref called a foul. Then, later in the second half, a defender and Lee were both going for a 50-50 ball when the defender ducked his head down to waist level to head the ball away. Daveon tried to settle the ball with, get this, his foot. Of course, there was uproar from the Century V players for a high kick and of course the call was given.

So, WMFC falls to 2-2 on the year at 10 points. They currently sit fifth in the table, eight points from league leaders Arsenal (gotta say it when I can). Their next game is either Saturday or Sunday.

*only kidding

West Mifflin cruises to second win

West Mifflin FC 6-1 Universal Foothills

Vargo; Kutscher, Etan, Lee?, Winters; Hasson; Hasson; Pcholinski, Gauss, Baguet; Stinner


Substitutes: Reed, Lacock, Nickel, Klein, Degerolamo

1-0 Baguet (30)
2-0 Baguet (40)
3-0 Baguet (42)
4-0 Lacock (51)
5-0 Lacock (56)
5-1 Some Guy (64)
6-1 Vargo!!! (77)


Yellow Card  Degerolamo (58)


It was chilly at kickoff time at West Mifflin Area High School Sunday where WMFC took on a diminished Universal Foohills. Despite the visitors only having eight or nine to start the game, the Blues did not offer to play down two men. Fucking right. I have no idea how the first three goals were scored. I don't even remember what the starting lineup was. From where I was, they all looked the same - Baguet getting the ball out on the left flank and then just curling the ball into the net. Three times. The Blues were fortunate that the little man found his form because they squandered several really good chances before the first one hit the net.

Stinner found himself in front of goal - but off balance - and sent a shot five-hole, only to have it deflect off of the keeper's testicles and then safely into the keeper's hands. There were a few other chances where the Blues did their best Arsenal imitation where rather than have a shot, they decided to pass the ball around the six yard box and eventually out for a goal kick. Reed bellowed on several occasions to shoot the ball! (No, way! That's what you do?) At halftime, I asked the statistician about Reed's stat line. He handed me the stat sheet and this is what it read:

Passes attempted: 7
Passes completed: 1
Successful dribbles: -4
Unsuccessful dribbles: ∞
Shots: 0
Shots on Target: hahahaha

Other than that there really wasn't anything else that happened in the first half. Oh, wait, there was a corner kick that Stinner was lined up perfectly to get his head to. He squared it up and prepared to unleash a furious header that most likely would have bulleted into the top corner for his first of the season!!...but, at the last possible second, Pcholinski selfishly yammered for Stinner to leave it for him. Stinner did just that...and the ball plooped off of Pcholinski's saggy bicep and fell to the turf. The co-captain took a swing with his leg and the Blues watched with sadness as the ball clipped the side of Pcholinski's boot and careened out of danger. Typical. Opportunistic. Snake.

The second half was more lively. Tyler Lacock bagged a brace and Rob Vargo grabbed his first ever WMFC goal. For Lacock's first, Stinner was played through by Sean or Mike or someone and foundhimself one on one with the keeper. Glancing up, he saw Lacock gimpily trotting alongside him to his left. As the keeper drew closer, Stinner played a perfect little square ball into Lacock's path. He took about 13 more dribbles than necessary and then booted the ball into the net for his first. Later, Tyler found himself down the left side again, wide open. As he wound up the shot, the keeper came storming out. He let fly a howitzer that deflected off the keeper's hands, floated in the air and into the net. Congratulations Tyler. You're still a United supporting maggot gizzard cunny twat.

Moments later the shutout was broken. After almost falling asleep six times, Vargo asked to come out of the net. Tom Klein was kind enough to volunteer to step in. He did well for about 15 minutes...and then it happened.* On what had to have been only his second touch of the ball, Klein picked up a back pass in the box and Foothills were rewarded a free kick inside the area. However, the free kick was so terrible it didn't come close to going in and the Blues cleared it.

A little pipsqueak turdball beat two WMFC defenders in the corner, dribbled in and beat Klein nearside for that group of wiener-watcher's only goal of the game. Cool.

At this point, I am getting really sleepy because it's late and this game is already three days old and I haven't gotten this thing written yet. However, I need to describe Vargo's goal. To be blunt, it was fucking excellent. He got the ball out on the right side and curled it up into the opposite side netting to make it 6-1.

Some minor notes: Degerolamo got a yellow card but probably didn't deserve it and Reed was dragged for six yards by the back of his shirt, twisted a knee and shouted obscenities. He will probably be out a few weeks.

I apologize for the crappiness of this write-up. I am exhausted and must retire now.

EDIT: Oh yeah, Daveon had a S K Y B O M B!!!


The Blues play this Sunday at 6:00p at Century V in South Park. See you there!

*Several years ago WMFC employed a man named Dario. He wasn't very good. In WMFC's opening game that year, a game that they won 11-1, Dario gave up the only goal because he picked up a back pass somewhere around the six yard box. Ever since that day, Klein has brought up "Dario-Mario-and Luigi" almost on a weekly basis and used to often use the fact that WMFC, in it's infancy years, would employ players of this talent level as an excuse to not play. Saying things such as."man, you still got Dario-Mario and Luigi on that team? I ain't playing if you have that dude on the team."

WMFC comes from behind for first win of the season

West Mifflin 3-1 Sporting Club of Pittsburgh Enosi


Vargo; Kutscher, Gasparovic, Kufen, Winters; Hasson, Hasson; Baguet, Gauss, Pcholinski; Stinner


Substitutes: Reed, Lacock, Lee, Degerolamo, Klein, Nickel

0-1 Some Guy (20)
1-1 S. Hasson (31)
2-1 S. Hasson (38)
3-1 Gauss (55)


Donning their new home kits (cheers to Tyler Lacock) and lining up in a new formation, West Mifflin Football Club took the field Sunday against Sporting Club of Pittsburgh at Borland Field. Having been screwed out of the use of their regular home field by a bunch of 9 year olds that have no business playing on field turf, the Blues had to make due on the petrified Borland pitch. West Mifflin kicked off with six subs this week against a Sporting Club side that had zero subs until 10 or so minutes into the second half. It's safe to say that the extra manpower paid dividends. Before the game the referee did WMFC a solid (the only one he would give them all game) and took a picture of the squad in their new kits. They look a classy bunch, no?

At the behest of the supremely knowledgeable and wise Managing Director Bob Stinner, a 4-2-3-1 was used to start the game, with the Hasson Bros. inserted as the two holding mid-fielders. The defense remained the same and the Wildcat triumvirate of Baguet, Gauss and Pcholinski started as attacking mids. Stinner started as the lone forward. In lieu of wails and whines from West Mifflin's portly veteran, Chris Reed, who unsurprisingly was against using anything other than a 4-4-2, the Blues dominated the opening. Winters and both Hassons broke up any semblance of a Sporting attack and found one of the three offensive mids with ease. West Mifflin had several chances in the early going. Stinner played right along the back line - effectively stretching the Sporting defense as far back as possible and giving the mids space. The Blues came closest when a low cross was sent into the area. Two white-clad attackers waited in the middle. A Sporting defender put his boot out and deflected the ball towards the side netting - prompting a nice save from his keeper. That sequence lead to WMFC's first corner of the evening...but I don't remember what came of it. West Mifflin continued to press and saw some good play between Pcholinski and Stinner. Stinner laid the ball off to Pcholinski about 30 yards out. A pass here from Pcholinski; a pass back to him from Stinner; someone crossed a ball in and it was deflected into the air; Stinner headed it beautifully to Pcholinski and then it all goes blank in my memory bank.


Despite really good pressure by the Blues, Sporting Club took the lead on 20 minutes. A free kick was given out on Vargo’s right for something that probably wasn't even remotely close to a foul - for Sporting Club has to be the biggest bunch of divers I've witnessed in seven years of playing in the GPSL. EDIT: It wasn't a free kick at all.It was a throw-in. Doesn't change the fact that they Michael Phelps'd it all game. I digress. A bullet of a cross was sent in, leaving the defense and Vargo slightly confused as to what to do. Vargo started for it and then stopped after recognizing the swiftness of the ball. A WMFC defender tried to challenge but it was too late. Some Guy got his head to it and just flicked it at the correct angle past the keeper and into the side of the net to make it 1-0.

Eleven minutes later, the genius of Managing Director Bob Stinner (and only the genius of Managing Director Bob Stinner and not someone else's such as Mike Hasson), shone through again as all of his hard scouting, recruiting, contract negotiation and player development work came to the fore when new boy Sean Hasson leveled the scoreline. According to Matthew Alan:

I'm a huge spunkguzzler. Daveon brought the ball up the middle and fed Gauss who took the ball out to the corner. His first attempt at a cross was blocked but he stayed strong on the ball, regained his composure and sent his next attempt into the area. Daveon controlled the cross and put a shot on net. The shot, however, was right at the keeper and it deflected off of him and into the path of Sean - an outstanding signing by our Manager, Bob Stinner. The whole game was really a testament to his supreme, 'polymathic' personality. He is the greatest and I am the worst.

The referee was really inconsistent when he made calls. There was one incident when Pcholinski had the ball along the sideline and the speedy little turd kid clipped the back of his leg and took the ball. It was a clear foul and the ref was no more than five yards away but didn't make the call. Then Pcholinski caught back up to him and plucked the ball out from the goons legs, causing him to fall over and the ref blew the whistle for a foul. Terrible.


On an unrelated note, Baguet slapped a guy in the nuts...and then joked about it at halftime.


Anyway, at some point after Hasson leveled the score, WMFC took the lead off of the same man's boot - or head - I don't remember. In what was one of the prettiest uses of the ball I've seen in a long time, Pcholinski, Mike Hasson and Gauss created the chance for Sean Hasson. Pcholinski received the ball on the left side with Mike out on his left, just even with the defenses back line. Pcholinski, who often tries stupid goober moves that fail miserably, sent a perfectly placed chip over what looked like three blue-clad defenders, right onto Hasson's foot. Hasson then played Gauss breaking through the middle of the defense who collected and released a shot that also deflected off the keeper. Sean Hasson was perfectly positioned again and slid the ball into the net. It really was Barcelona-esque and it gave the Blues (who were wearing white) a 2-1 lead going into the half.


The second half saw some more dodgy refereeing and an incident between the Sporting goalkeeper and Steve Gauss. But before all of that, Gauss put the Blues up 3-1 from a corner kick - I think (I say I think because let's face it, we are nearly completely useless when it comes to set pieces). Whatever the circumstances, the ball was played so high that everyone that was in the box stopped to watch it sail over. Everyone that is, except Steve Gauss who leaped so high his head looked like it was above the crossbar and face/headed the ball into the top corner, prompting Reed to bellow:

Aoooohhhhhhhhhh!! He's white! And I still use jokes from the mid-90's!

Reed subsequently got hit in the nuts with the ball...or something to that effect.


That did it for the scoring but not the action. Once West Mifflin went up 3-1 Sporting had to press to score. It looked like Sporting only kept three back in defense which allowed WMFC almost unchallenged access to the Sporting goal. Kutscher made a run from beyond midfield and had a shot on goal. Stinner, who never, EVER, heads the ball for any reason whatever, sent a gorgeous looping header on target that nearly beat the keeper. Just as with the headed goal he scored last season, the entire park was stunned.

Later, the Sporting keeper pulled a Ken Spalding and tried to dribble up the field with his team down two goals, promptly lost it to Gauss who lost a boot in the proces. The ref gave a free kick because the keeper was a twat. The keeper, realizing that he was being a twat, threw Gauss's shoe away from the area of play -buying time for him to run the 45 yards back to his net. Whatever. He's GAAARBBAAAAAGGGGEEEE! 


This may go down as the single best team performance in WMFC's history. Every player played a good game. Chris Nickel had a hell of a game, getting stuck right the fuck in on the one guy that scores like six goals a game. Tom Klein had a markedly improved game this week compared to the first game. His passes were crisp and his vision was outstanding. Tyler Lacock played a good game as well - plucking the ball from tired Sporting wingers on several occasions. It was a really good game for the entire squad. Hopefully, the boys can carry that over to practice this week and the game (which is now at 6:00p) Sunday. They should also let Bob Stinner know if they'll be at practice and the game immediately, if they haven't done so already. Finally, the 4-2-3-1 was pure genius.

EDIT: Vargo made some ridiculous saves as well. That's all.


Hope to see you there!

WMFC downed by two excellent strikes

West Mifflin 1-2 Sweep the Leg

Vargo: Kutscher, Kufen, Gasparovic, Winters; Pcholinski, Baguet, Reed, Gauss; Lee, Stinner

Substitutes: Nickel, Klein

1-0 Lee (23)
1-1 Headband Guy (54)
Kutscher - Yellow Card (61)
Pcholinski - Yellow Card (87)
1-2 Some Other Guy with a Dirty Sanchez (89)

Opening day came two weeks late this year as logistics issues forced both Sweep the Leg and WMFC to postpone their first two games of the 2011 season. It was a scorcher in West Mifflin and many a supporter has a farmer's tan to show for it today. The sun shat rays on all 12 fans present at Titan Stadium Sunday and eventually wreaked havoc on the Blues who were supposed to have five subs for the game, but only ended up with two. It's nearly impossible to win games in the GPSL when you have two subs and your opponent has the population of a small country on its bench as was the case on Sunday. The only thing the Blues could do was play smart, pressure when able, keep their shape, and work the ball smartly up the field with short, accurate passes. They managed to do all of those things for a time, but were eventually done in by a foolish foul right at the end.

The Blues started off pretty well considering they haven't had a full practice yet this season. They moved the ball well and, as usual, the defense was steadfast. The back four of Kutscher, Kufen, Gasparovic and newcomer Cory Winters worked well together and were only really broken down when fatigue had its way with the entire team. After only one game it should be noted that it appears Winters will be a masterful addition to the squad. Calm with the ball and willingness to get stuck in, he should replace perfectly his Croatian predecessor. Manager Bob Stinner executed some of his supreme tactical prowess and employed Pcholinski and Gauss on the wings with the scrappy Matthew Alan and buxom Reed in the middle. Stinner and Lee started up front. The middle four played well and were critical in the build-up to the opener.

WMFC threatened on several occasions, the nature of which I can't recall, but somehow the ball made its way to Stinner who had drifted out to the right near the middle of the park. He squared the ball into Reed who let the ball roll across him and opened up to the middle of the field. One defender backed away from Reed, noticeably intimidated by the girth, giving him ample time to find Pcholinski who received the pass and quickly dished it over to Daveon. Pcholinski ferociously continued his run and Daveon hit him with a pinpoint through ball and then overlapped to the inside. Pcholinski, whose followers supported 66.6666% of the WMFC fans at the game, played the ball square to Daveon who was left one-on-one with the keeper. Seemingly slowing to a standstill, he eyed up his shot and toe-poked home his and the team's first of the season. One-nil. The crowd roared...oh wait, that was the people going down the big hill on the Phantom's Revenge. That was it for the first half that I can recall. If there was anything else of importance that happened in the first half that you can recall, such as Stinner misjudging a header...or five, please let me know in the comments.

At half-time, the team retreated to cooler pastures beneath the packed stadium bleachers. All except for a female fan that was fortunate enough to sit on the bench with the players. When one of the players offered her reprieve from the suns harmful rays, she refused. In fact, she remained in the sun for the game's entirety and now looks like this. Hopefully, a lesson was learned. Meanwhile, in the shade, Reed's fat ass lay down on the cool cement and had his number eight (for his tonnage) seared into the pavement. Everyone laughed at him. Shortly after that the game was back on.

The Blues started the second half strongly forcing Sweep the Leg back into their defensive zone. One of the better chances West Mifflin had saw Baguet, Gauss, and Daveon work the ball down the left side. The entire defense was pulled toward the triumvirate leaving Stinner wide open in front of goal. He shouted for the ball but it was cleared away for a throw. Soon after, unfortunately, Sweep the Leg tied it.

The ball ping-ponged around the right corner of the WMFC area and eventually fell perfectly for Headband Guy who swung his foot through the ball. It arched up over the WMFC defense, just past Vargo's outstretched hand and into the net to level the score. We almost never give credit to the opposing team on here but we will do it twice in one match report this week. This goal, although maybe a tad lucky, was pretty. What sucks ass is that the second goal was even prettier.

West Mifflin had chances to retake the lead but couldn't seem to find the net again. Gauss was released on a beautiful pass straight down the middle of the pitch - an area of weakness for the lumbering Sweep the Leg central defense, especially as the game wore on and the heat took its toll. The lanky midfielder burst into the box and wound up for a shot when a defender took out his leg sending the ball out into touch. The center referee, oblivious to what was going on as he had been for most of the game, called for a goal kick amid demands for a penalty, claiming he had only seen the defender get the ball. Out of nowhere, Reed in his grown-man falsetto shouted "it can't be a corner if you say it hit his foot!" The referee, realizing his error, promptly reversed the call to a corner. Typically, West Mifflin did nothing with it.

Later, Stinner released Daveon, again down the middle. The ball was struck a tad too hard and he was forced to get past a defender who was letting the ball roll out, from ten yards outside of the area, onto the touchline. Daveon ever so gingerly tapped the back of the guy’s legs and the guy dove to the turf, not at all unlike James Harden, prompting the oblivious referee to give a free kick to Sweep the Leg.

At one point the ball came to Gasparovic out on the right. The closest defender was literally 25 yards away. He took a dribble and immediately looked to blast the ball across, down, up, into the air, over the hill, towards the school, anywhere really, which had to have confused the defenders as much as it confused most of Gasparovic's own teammates. With enough time for wood to petrify, Gasparovic looked stumped. Both sides were stunned he didn't just dribble forward. Chaos ensued and he eventually booted the ball somewhere down the field.

Kutscher received the first yellow card of the season. It's difficult to fault the sweeper who plays every minute of almost every game and who sustained what appeared to be a head injury upon heading out a shot earlier in the game, but the foul probably wasn't necessary. A few whines were emitted by the opposition but they put the ball back into play and the game continued.

The decisive free kick and goal came around the 88th minute. It needs to be said that Pcholinski was fouled pretty hard just before the incident, but the ref 'didn't see it' which is unfortunate, since, you know, he's the ref. Pcholinski recovered from the foul on him that wasn't called, sprinted after the douche that kicked him and unleashed a leaping, scissor grab-kick that would have been a foul in an MMA fight. The ref blew the whistle, showed him the yellow card as Pcholinski walked away muttering expletives at the center dunce. With Stinner, Gauss and two other people in the wall, Some Guy with a Dirty Sanchez lined up the free kick and sent a shot towards the upper left corner of the net. Vargo jumped for it and got a hand to it and for a brief moment those in the ground thought it had been saved - but the big man couldn't shuffle the ball out and it dropped into the net. Lame. As. Fuck.

So, that was how it ended - a well-fought 2-1 loss to start the season that leaves WMFC in 8th early on. Not a bad performance but it makes one wonder how the team would have fared if it had the expected five subs rather than the two that actually showed up. The team will take the holiday weekend off and hopefully get a few solid practices in before their next game against Sporting Club of Pittsburgh Enosi, currently sitting in 2nd.

Keep checking back and hopefully we'll see you at a game this season.

WMFC Online to Introduce Pre and Post Match Interviews

In an effort to expand West Mifflin Football Club's online presence,WMFC will begin conducting pre and post match interviews for the 2011 season. These interviews will most likely take place at WMFC's global headquarters in Clovercrest and will probably start out with interviews with hometown players. It all depends on what players and members of the management team and front office are willing to come in for the show. Managing Director Bob Stinner has already committed to appearing on the show as often as is necessary. Marketing Director Tyler Lacock has also agreed to appear. Captain Jared Pcholinski and former co-captain Matthew Alan have also agreed to come on.

Managing Director Bob Stinner had this to say,

As soon as I have enough money to buy a sufficient computer microphone we will get a few of those batty boy twats in here for an interview

Stop back for more details.

Gallery: (Not so) Friendly - WMFC v FK Pittsburgh 4.17.11

Scrimmage vs FK Pittsburgh

Photos: Courtesy of Scott Gross

Official Site Reaches 3,000 hits!

Three months after reaching the double-century mark, West Mifflin Football Club's online authority has joined the likes of Roberto Clemente, Honus Wagner and Nap Lajoie in the 3,000 Hit Club.

3,000 Hits!

As always thank you all of the support and COME ON YOU BLUES LEARN HOW TO PASS THE BALL AND NOT RESORT TO LUMPING IT STOKE CITY/BOLTON STYLE UP THE FIELD SO THE OTHER TEAM CAN SKEWER OUR ENTIRE TEAM ON THE COUNTER BECAUSE WE ONLY HAVE THREE PLAYERS BACK IN DEFENSE!! YOU BEAUTY!

Formation confusion leads to 4-0 drubbing

I don't remember this game. My brain was tortured for nearly two hours by high-pitched wailing and whining from a team that was not only winning 3-0 for most of the game, but also repeatedly dishonest about balls being out of bounds and players being offside, in addition to playing beyond the level of physicality commensurate with a pre-season friendly, in which there were no referees. In other words, they thought the agreement to call our own fouls gave everyone license to kick and push the shit out of everyone else and then, if a foul was called, to complain that calling the foul was itself  'complaining.'

Whatever.

Sponsorship Deal Has Been Struck

After a long and arduous negotiation, WMFC Online is pleased to announce that a sponsorship deal has been struck with Bid66.com. Starting when the 2011 season begins on May 8th, West Mifflin Football Club will be sponsored by and subsequently bear the logo of Bid66.com. In addition, the good folks at Bid66.com, through business connections and other networking related relationships, have been able to provide the Blues with new jerseys. The new kits will be provided by Adidas and will bear the fabled West Mifflin Football Club logo that was not completely jack-moded from Middlesbrough with the colors simply changed to blue and white rather than orange and white. Below is a leaked picture of the new home kits:

The new WMFC Home kit?

Once WMFC Online receives official photos of the new kits they will be posted. In the mean time, let us know what you think in the comments! Also, a huge thank you to Tyler Lacock, West Mifflin Football Club's Director of Marketing and Cuntiness for all the work he put into acquiring the sponsor and new kits.

Thanks to Bid66.com!

Come on you Blues!