Blues come from behind to grab 2-1 victory

West Mifflin 2-1 FTM United

Vargo; Pcholinski, Gasparovic, Pasternak, Winters; Lacock, Gauss, Straw, Stinner, S. Hasson; Lee


Substitutes: Degerolamo, Jeffrey

0-1 Some Guy (28)
1-1 Winters (54)
Some Turd  Yellow Card (82)
2-1 Gauss (pen. 83)

As the sun slid behind the clouds high above Titan Stadium, an air of familiarity - almost deja vu like - wisped across the turf. Football is a funny game and there's no doubt the footie gods were having their fun Sunday evening. Not only were the Blues blessed (cursed?) with yet another horrible referee, not only did FTM United's players continue their turd behavior, not only did FTM become so frustrated that they were smacked with another yellow card, in addition to all of this the Blues defeated the northern gum-flappers on another late Steve Gauss, cool-as-you-like penalty.

West Mifflin lined up in a precautionary 4-5-1 given their meager numbers and available personnel. Whether that tactical change was the initiate or simply a contributing factor to the game being a complete crap-fest is up for debate. Regardless, Manager Bob Stinner felt that the move was warranted, citing the surplus of midfielders and dearth of defenders and strikers. The game was drab though. The Blues would work the ball into the attacking end and shoot, only to have the ball slowly roll (or furiously skyrocket) over the endline. The keeper or sweeper would then either launch the ensuing goalkick or clearance down the field. And so it went on, long ball after long ball after long ball back into the West Mifflin end of thezzZZzzZZzZZzzZzzzz...

In a deviation from last year's fixture, FTM struck first just before the half hour mark. The ball ping-ponged to Some Turd at about the 35 yard line. The turd glanced up and noticed that Vargo, who had been playing up the pitch to collect long ball after long ball after long bazzzZZZzzZZZZzzzzzz...was dangerously far off his line. He launched an effort toward the net. Vargo scrambled back but could not get there in time and the Route 1'ers had the lead. It's a real shame too because just before the goal was scored FTM's captain was overheard saying that they "only need one," indicating the northerner's intention to play like Stoke City or Bolton or Blackburn, or like, well, like northerners!

We shall dedicate this next paragraph to Stinner's blown chances. Shortly before the Blues conceded Stinner had his first chance to net his first of the season. Outside of a decent performance from their sweeper, FTM's defense left acres of space for the West Mifflin front line to operate. Sean Hasson found himself with the ball out on the right flank. Stinner found himself in space between two defenders that really didn't know what to do and motioned to Hasson for a cross. Hasson put the ball picture perfect, spot-on, right on Stinner's nugget...but Stinner managed to send the ball just over the bar. Later, Stinner received a pass from someone and turned to goal. Expecting to be confronted with defenders, the typically calm and cool striker found himself in a pornstar's gap worth of space, panicked and sent a dinker wide to the left. Finally, in the second half, with West Mifflin pushing for the equalizer Stinner fumbled a glorious chance. The Blues were rushing forward and had at least four or five moving forward in attack. Daveon was weaving through defenders with Stinner and Lacock just ahead to his left. Stinner started to make a run but hesitated for a split-second, fearing he would be flagged offside. Lee played a perfect through-ball but the split-second hesitation wrong-footed Stinner and as he decided to try and catch the pass with his weaker left foot, the ball flew past him and out for a goal kick.

The second half started with the Blues barreling down the pitch in wave after wave of attack and eleven minutes after the break the game was tied. FTM did have a couple good chances in both halves but no one gives a shit about them and Bada-bing bada-boom, Straw was running down the field with Winters next to him or something and somehow, Straw crossed it over to Winters who at full-stretch poked away his first of the season. The goal came amidst a deluge of abhorrent calls made by the center ref who was easily the worst ref West Mifflin has had in a long time. It seems like we mention that every week but this guy was special. Steve Gauss asked the ref during the pregame warmups if he was going to "let us play" or "call every little thing." The ref, dead serious and without the slightest hesitation as if what he was about to say was not lame, responded that he would "call every little thing." A ridiculous omen that we in earshot probably should have paid more attention to because this guy called the game like we were U-6. Even Lacock, who actually looks like he could be a U-6 player, excoriated the ref that he was having a howler.

With about seven minutes remaining, space folded on itself and time shifted as the exact same chain of events as last year's fixture played out like a VHS-tape that had just been rewound. Last year it was Degerolamo who drew a penalty. This year the ball was played into the FTM box and was bouncing around. Gasparovic had made a signature run into the area and leaped for the ball. An over-zealous FTM defender jumped with him and checked the stocky hard-man in midair. Now, whether or not the shove warranted a tumble, eh may be debatable. However, it was clearly a foul and our whistle-happy ref was more than giddy to point to the spot. Up stepped none other than Steve-A-Reno Gauss (after Stinner had to push him up to the spot to take the damn thing). After missing a penalty for the first time in his life in last year's semis, Gauss was looking for redemption. He ran up and cooly sent the keeper the wrong way and the Blues had the lead. Gauss then rotted away pointing to the number on the back of his shirt (?). That's a shit ton of confidence from a dude that never has any confidence. Also in a repeat of last year's game, some turd from the other team booted the ball into the stands out of frustration and was awarded a yellow card.

With just a few minutes remaining a shot was blasted over the bar and onto the track that encircles the field. After 10 seconds of asking the FTM bench to send out another ball, Vargo trotted back to retrieve the SKYBOMBed ball. The FTM bench  finally realized what was happening and offered the ball from the bench. At that point, Vargo was already halfway to the ball and the Blues told the bench to forget it. This prompted some completely non-sensical Orc-speak from one of the FTM players about Vargo licking his own ass or something. What? Oh, and the defense had an outstanding game. Seriously.


The Blues next match is this Sunday at 10:00a at the hallowed grounds of Borland Park. Bring your First Aid kits!