10 April 2013

Transfer Note: Out with the new, in with the old

A quick transfer note for you rabid, adoring Blues fans out there. Star forward Ark James is rumored to be on his way out of the club to a minor league team in West Virginia. Why it is being rumored on the official site is beyond me. Anyway, the club understands the speedy talisman's desire to play the most competitive football he can and if this is to be the case, we thank him for a great season and wish him luck. To replace the Blues' leading scorer in 2012, Managing Director Bob Stinner has indicated that former Blues' leading goalscorer Tony Volk could make his way back to Borland Park after a self-imposed two-year hiatus. The Volkranian target man has spent the last two years serving libation to and tete-a-tete'ing with down and out inhabitants of West Homestead that have sauntered across the railroad tracks and into his Bar Louie. Fortunately, he also found the time to get incredibly buff, and now sports a rippling six-pack, taut biceps, a thick pectoral region and brawny shoulders. *Swoon* Please standbi. I mean by. Please standby for further updates.

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