West Mifflin beaten by the luckiest, most rinky-dink goal in the history of world football

West Mifflin FC 0-1 Century V White

Vargo: Pcholinski, Kufen, Jordan, Etan; Tyler, Gauss, Baguet, Daveon; Stinner, Degerolamo

Substitutes: Nickel, Isadore, Winters?-I don't remember



0-1 Some lucky fuck (68)


This fixture is becoming an unlucky one for WMFC. Last year the Blues took the lead on a Gauss header early on and held it until the very end when a dodgy free kick that scuttled past Vargo saw them drop points. This season brought more of the same as the boys were beaten by what was easily the most pathetic goal of all time. Century V are skilled, powerful and quick. West Mifflin, for the most part, are none of those things. They play physical and occasionally connect the proverbial dots with good passes. On this particular Sunday, however,  the Blues (again, rocking their whites) were pinned back in their own end most of the game and were relegated to lumping the ball out of danger. It was another hot one and they were again without several key players due to injury and wanton libatious celebrations.

The first half was almost completely dominated by Century V. Possession had to have been somewhere around a 70-30 split. Century got their shots but never really troubled Vargo. There were a few moments where a player in a red shirt appeared to have loads of space only to have a WMFC defender charge onto him and alter his course. There were also times when that same scenario arose and the man in red blasted a shot towards goal completely unchallenged - the boys in white too tired from huffing around the sun-soaked pitch with only three subs when they should have had six. Despite being on the wrong end of the possession statistic, WMFC managed to keep the ball out of their net and even threatened one or two times in the first half. Cory Winters had a very good run down the left side and could have been in for a cross to Stinner who had freed himself up at the top of the box had a Century V defender not nicked the ball away at the last second. I also seem to recall Daveon and Gauss having chances as well. However, all went afoul before the ball could be placed into the net.

Tactically, WMFC had to reshuffle the lineup to accommodate their missing starters. The 4-2-3-1 formation that had worked wonders through the first few games just wasn't doable without the Hasson brothers manning the holding mid spots. Without Kutscher, Pcholinski had to take over at sweeper which left a second, third, and fourth gap in the midfield in addition to the loss of Reed and his chins.West Mifflin returned to a regular 4-4-2 and their having a line of players at the 18 and the 50 and no one between. Dan Isadore made his debut for WMFC and played very well in defense. In fact, all of the defense was outstanding throughout. They were all sucking wind at the end, but they kept the opposition at bay for as long as they could.

About five minutes before half-time, Stinner subbed back on as a defender. Before he turned to Kufen and two others on the bench and said,

I bet you they score before half-time with me back there

With about 15 seconds remaining in the half, a cross was played in from the left side. Stinner awkwardly leaped for the ball only to see it soar over his head and right at the nearly-perfectly positioned striker. The striker got his head to it, but could only send it wide of the goal. The whistle blew. Almost prophetic.

In the second half, WMFC saw a little more of the ball and were slightly more threatening. Century V, realizing that there was no way in hell they should not be winning the game given the obvious disparity in average skill per player that was clearly skewed in their favor, started to push forward aggressively which left a big gap in the back (<---that sounds like a song title that Sisqo might use). It's hard for me to say that Century V didn't deserve the goal because over the course of the game they were the only team that looked anything like scoring, but the way it went in is totally ass-chapping. Here goes: a cross came in from Vargo's left. Kufen and Gauss were back to defend and each had a mark to follow. The ball soared across the field. It ricocheted off one of the forwards and then looked as though it may have bounced off of something else. As Vargo darted across the goal line nimbly, the ball took another deflection, changing its course and sending it underneath Vargo had who made it over to protect that side of the net. Sadly and slowly, like George Costanza rounding third in a beer league softball game, the ball rolled into the net at a snail's pace. Seriously, it took longer for that ball to cross the line than Antonio Cromartie to name all of his kids - and he's still trying to name those last few. And that was how the Blues fell. The worst goal ever.

On the whole, the game was officiated really well. Except when the refs decided to be racist*. Twice Daveon found himself slicing into the area when the whistle was blown for a shaky foul. First, the defenders foot (in running motion) clipped Daveon's shin. He fell over and instead of waving play on and allowing Daveon his toe-ball, the ref called a foul. Then, later in the second half, a defender and Lee were both going for a 50-50 ball when the defender ducked his head down to waist level to head the ball away. Daveon tried to settle the ball with, get this, his foot. Of course, there was uproar from the Century V players for a high kick and of course the call was given.

So, WMFC falls to 2-2 on the year at 10 points. They currently sit fifth in the table, eight points from league leaders Arsenal (gotta say it when I can). Their next game is either Saturday or Sunday.

*only kidding