West Mifflin clinches first ever playoff berth with Sweep the Leg draw

Sweep the Leg 3-3 West Mifflin 

Vargo; Kufen, Nickel, Gasparovic, Etan; Baguet, Gauss, Pcholinski, Hruska; Volk, Stinner

Substitutions: Lee, Cyr, Lacock

0-1 Some guy (12)
0-2 Some other guy (18)
0-3 Lacock (OG) (31)
1-3 Volk (47)
2-3 Baguet (57)
3-3 Cyr (71)

Pcholinski Yellow Card (75)

After a long, boring, red-light riddled trip up Route 8, an overly barren West Mifflin Football Club kicked off against Championship West leaders Sweep the Leg. With its first choice sweeper, two first choice wingers, and two solid strikers missing and the team only needing to play the game to win enough points for a playoff berth, WMFC weren't expecting an easy go of it. The pitch was tucked away in the middle of Bumfuck, Pennsylvania and had more craters than Stinner's driveway. From the center circle, one could look to the right and see farmland, then look to the left and see, well, more farmland..oh, and a green John Deere tractor holding up traffic. However, the Sweep the Leg pitch did feature one other attribute the Blues are altogether not familiar with...actual, real, living and breathing fans. Scores of them lining the sidelines to cheer on their team. It was a strange sight to say the least and one of the only memorable items from a game that winger Tyler Lacock rightly described as 'nondescript.'

I digress. This was a game of two halves, literally and figuratively. After ten minutes of solid back and forth play, the Blues just switched off entirely. Sweep the Leg dominated thereafter but were very lucky to go up by the margin they did. The first goal came from a botched clearance that careened off of Etan's head as a shot on Vargo's net. Vargo did well to get a hand to it but it bounced right into the path of an ongoing attacker who popped it up into the net. A shitty way to go 1-nil down. Moments later Volk had a shot at equalizing. A long ball found him with his back to the net and a defender on him. He spun and looped a good shot just wide of the post.

A few minutes later, poor defending on a corner allowed Sweep the Leg to double their lead. The towering sweeper with his surfer-dude locks leaped through the air and powered a header over Vargo and into the net. The goal scorers wide-openness was a microcosm of the Blues play in that first half: shoddy, unorganized and just downright poor. They looked like total twats, to be sure and just 13 minutes after the second, the third went in rather unluckily for West Mifflin. A ball was played down the right side, bing-bang-boom, something happened and the ball was crossed in. It ricocheted off of two white jerseys, deflected off of Lacock - sending his head back and to the left. That's right, back and to the left...as the ball skipped passed Vargo and into the net. And so went the first half without as much as a whimper from the Blues the rest of the way.

Little was said in West Mifflin's section of cornfield. Most of the players just leaned on their designated bale of hay and shucked corn. However, just before the second half began, as if to inspire the rest of the squad, Matt Baguet, seemingly out of nowhere, looked at the Sweep the Leg center striker and said:

I'm trying to figure out what I had for lunch...

As the opposition looked at the little bastard, befuddled, he turned around, bent over and farted at them. No one really knew what to do because the act was so completely and utterly retarded. It did seem to spark the Blues, however. There was a very good spell of possession that led to a wonderful cross from someone. Volk found himself wide open in the box and headed home the Blues first with real authority...so much authority that it tore a hole in the net. As the teams lined up for the ensuing kickoff, Baguet was asked to repeat his one man spectacle. He could not from fear of shitting his pants.

It didn't matter though as three minutes before the hour mark, Baguet put in his first of the season. I was grabbing a drink of Apple Cider from Ma and Pa's cider cellar when the play started but when I looked up, Baguet was on the six inch line tapping the ball in. That made it 3-2 and the Blues bench was humming. After a botched substitution, Nickel found himself out on the left for a good 10 minutes. The defender, well-known to fancy a pint or a dozen, held his own for the short stretch.

With about 25 minutes to go, West Mifflin had a good opportunity to finish off an emphatic comeback. Someone was fouled on the edge of the box and, finally, after nearly 70 minutes of indecision and overall cluelessness, the center ref blew his whistle and gave West Mifflin a free kick. Volk and Baguet stood over the ball and discussed what they would do with it. Volk ended up taking the kick and sending a bullet towards goal. The keeper got his hands on it, however, and the chance passed. Volk, despite only having one goal, played very well - striking the post on two occasions. At one point, he found himself in acres of space after a beautifully placed ball from Daveon. He was one on one with the keeper and just couldn't find the proper placement on the ball and sent a SKYBOMB over the net.

Finally, the Blues got their equalizer. Nick took the ball on the left side and glided into the area. He went to shoot and whiffed horrendously. Someone, many believe it to be Gasparovic, yelped 'THAT"S A PENALTY!', but it clearly was not. Seconds after the whiff, Cyr regained possession with his back to the goal. The keeper slid in and took out his legs like a police baton. The ref, probably exhaling in relief because an opportunity to atone for his terrible no-calls for most of the game had presented itself,  flew in and pointed to the spot. Cyr stepped up and plastered the ball into the net to complete the comeback. Overall, a very good job at kicking on and not giving up, especially considering the quality and quantity of players WMFC was missing.

With the result, West Mifflin clinched its first ever GPSL playoff berth. They will play Saturday, July 24th at 12:00p at Graham Park in Cranberry. If they win that game they will play at 6:00p. Should they win that game they will play in the Championship game on Sunday, July 25th at 12:00p.

Congratulations to all members of the 2010 West Mifflin Football Club.