Revamped WMFC ready for 2010 season...

West Mifflin Football Club has been revitalized as it prepares for the first season of the new decade. As always, Managing Director, Bob Stinner was busy this close-season looking for new talent to don the vaunted blue and whites this summer. After a Real Madrid-like spending spree WMFC fans have a lot to be excited about. Several stars make their return to the Blues for this campaign including midfielders Matthew Alan (a fan favorite) and Steve Gauss, two pivotal players in attack. In addition, defenders Andrew Kufen (minus his thick, lush beard), and Jon Renner bring solidarity to the back four. These two anchors should bring stability to a defense that will be missing it's leader, Corey Danzey, who has left for the Navy (everyone here at WMFC wish Mr Danzey the best of luck.) Kufen will almost definitely slide right into Danzey's old spot at sweeper - I hope he knows that - and Renner will hopefully bring his girlfriend to provide opponent-distracting eye-candy - Lord knows he probably won't bring much else other than a card...or seven. Tee hee! He will join old-new-comer Steve Chavern in the mix in defense. After a six year (!) hiatus from the pitch, Chavern will be making his return and the 16 former Wildcats/Titans can't wait for his debut. Well, maybe that's just me anxious to see how many cards he will rack up. Another bruiser, if you will, Etienne will certainly solidify the physicality of a WMFC defense that already feature the likes of Jordan 'Eggrole' Gasparovic, Etan 'The Tan Man' Pasternak, and the previously mentioned Kufen and Renner.

In attack, Anthony Degerolamo makes his return after a season-long absence due to unrepentant homosexuality. Managing Director Bob Stinner said:

I don't know what we're going to get from him. He's always been a camping twat and he's been off for over a year doing nothing but playing Call of Duty so, we'll have to see what he can give us. I wouldn't be surprised if he ran to the top of the bleachers, planting an imaginary claymore on his way, and getting down on his stomach to pretend to snipe the Spetsnaz like he was in a Brazilian favela. Ahh, what a cunt.

Joining Degerolamo in attack, and also making his triumphant return to West Mifflin football, is the Ginger Prince, West Mifflin's own Flying Tomatoe, Trevor Kidd. Mr Kidd had a run with WMFC this winter in the RMU Indoor Soccer league at Neville Island. He netted a few and did pretty well for having not played soccer in over five years. He also displayed some of his more honed skills such as eating Subway just ten minutes before kickoff and getting sick, almost killing himself and two other passengers on the way to the game by driving like a maniac, listening to terrible, God awful music, and handling the ball before scoring.

Finally, Mr Wonderful, Chad Perry has agreed on a deal with WMFC that would only see him come into the first team as goalkeeper when WMFC number one Rob Vargo is unable to play. So, we expect to see a lot of Perry since Vargo often takes games off to celebrate events such as Memorial Day, Independence Day, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Arbor Day, World AIDS Day, Rosh Hashanah, Pi Day, the start of Ramadan, and National Bubba Day (it's real, Google it).

These are the new and returning players to the WMFC squad. They will join up with the regulars such as Pcholinski, Stinner, Reed, Vargo, and Lacock as the Blues fight for Championship East Division dominance.