Injury Update

Jared Pcholinski's vagina has torn. She had been suffering from vaginal cramps and is now listed as day to day.

Stinner facing fitness test before Memorial Day weekend clash

West Mifflin Football Club winger Bob Stinner faces a fitness test tomorrow to determine whether or not he will be able to take part Sunday against Steel City United. With Reed and Baguet already out on holiday the Blues are stretched for options in the middle of the park. In addition, the squad will be testing out a new formation that Stinner would seem to be suited for, 4-2-3-1. Should he be fit to play (and the other team doesn't appear to be a pack of wild banshees that lash out at any and all limbs and ligaments of the opposition) he is considering starting himself on the right side of the attacking midfield with Pcholinski in the center and Daveon on the left.

Injury Update

To begin it should be mentioned that the captions for several of the pictures for the last match's report are very wrong. It should also be noted that I could not care less. It is 10:45p and I have to go to work tomorrow and my misery is compounded by the fact that the Cuntitals forced Game 7 tonight so fuck off.

Here's your goddamn injury update:

Stinner (ankle sprain) will try and practice tomorrow.

Drewski (ankle sprain): no one really knows. His ankle is "fat". We will wait until tomorrow.

Lacock (ankle) will be out of training tomorrow.

Everyone else appears to be set to partake in training. We should have a good practice tomorrow. We are expecting at least 12 people. Yae.

Stinner: the definition of 'crocked'

Our first injury update of the year is a gruesome one. Bob Stinner, managing director, manager, and player, suffered a severely sprained ankle during training Sunday afternoon whilst participating in the take-back game, a drill world-renowned and made popular because of its use in practices by France in their World Cup winning year of 1998. For the one or two people on planet Earth who do not know the rules of take-back, a drill that is typically used when a team of 19 players has only seven show up to practice, a team must complete five passes before shooting or must volley the ball into the net to score. While participating in the 'take-back' game, Eton played a miraculous through-ball in the air and right up the gut of the defense for Stinner. He leaped to get a touch around the keeper but the ball was just out of reach. When he landed, he landed awkwardly and the result was one hell of sprained ankle. He says he heard it crunch and judging by the pictures below there is little evidence to suggest there weren't several million crunches.


Disgusting.


Foul.


Certainly, the definition of crocked.

So, there it is. The first injury update of the year. Stinner will almost surely miss the first game of the season on Sunday, May 10th at Borland at 11:00am. There was no indication whether or not he would be out for an extended period, although he has been instructed to complete physical therapy starting one week from today.

He is the only one that looks to be out. Other than that WMFC will have a fully-fit squad.

See you then.