West Mifflin Football Club Update: Matthew Alan Baguet

West Mifflin Football Club can confirm that Matthew Alan Baguet will return to the club for the 2013 season on an incentive-laden, pay-as-you-play contract (because he is constantly hurt...or just doesn't come to games...or comes to the games drunk). I guess the team is excited to have  him back...I know the comedy writers here are!

Matthew Alan stripped of co-captaincy

Stinner: "It's sad but it had to be done..."

It is official. Matthew Alan Baguet has been stripped of his co-captaincy of West Mifflin Football Club for not showing up on Sunday. Managing Director, Bob Stinner announced the decision today at a brief press conference:





Players were shocked to find that the little douche wasn't coming to the game this past Sunday. Said one player:

It's hurtful that our captain would shun us to play golf on a shitty golf course. For Chrissake, Burgs, it wasn't fucking TPC Sawgrass.

Another had this to say:

Hopefully he'll stop acting like a douche, realize that golfing is gay and he'll never be any good at it, and just play. We could have used him this weekend. How dare he ask the manager if we 'were good on numbers.' You're a fucking captain you shitbag! Fuck!

Finally:

That douche better know Civics 9 inside and out after that stunt, the fucking cockgobbler.

The Blues may be floating towards troubled waters. Let's hope they are able to steady the ship.

He's baaaaaaaaaaack...